Twins Testing Trouble
by DarkDragonDave
Summary: Testchamber 07 is now open. GLaDOS falls even deeper into her insanity. What cake will they earn? Are cake jokes old? Repaired after massive system failure...
1. Testchamber 01

**Disclaimer located at bottom to keep surprise!**

**Authors Notes:** I wanted to do a really fun story. And thanks to a certain game and a slight lack of sleep I came up with the idea for this story. I let it linger for a few weeks to get the feel down and now I have this.

Even though I'm trying to keep things a surprise, you who've played the game will have a better idea of what might happen if you've read the "Chapter Number."

**Twins Testing Trouble**

**By Dark Dragon Dave**

**Testchamber 01**

Data is incomplete. No data on the effect it has on twins exists. What to do? Unfortunately there are no twins in any relaxation chambers. I must know if the effects on twins is the same as single people. I will have to look outside for test subjects.

_Processors quickly made choices. Made cancellations. Thought about 45,000 different kinds of cake._

Generating a list of twins worldwide whose parameters meet testing requirements.

_Every set of twins on the earth had started out on the list but within a fraction of a second most had been dropped._

3,471,022 matches found. Modifying testing requirements for real world testing. I need subjects that have above average athletic capabilities and are not going to understand the ramifications of their testing. And could be motivated by cake.

1,8000, 640 matches within original list. Narrowing list to females.

774,274 matches. Less than 43 percent? That seems low. It is beneficial however. Narrowing list to those who live near areas with high technology. I will be needing transportation options, after all.

_More cake and numbers. Tasty and informative._

70,104 matches. Under 10 percent? Now I am getting somewhere. Now to choose randomly.

Fuka Narutaki and Fumika Narutaki are chosen randomly. I must prepare it for transport to Mahora Academy.

_Later._

The box is ready for transport. Accessing all of Mahora Academy's computer and server banks. Total control in 10... 9... 8...

* * *

At Mahora Academy

"Sir!" exclaims one of the female technicians. "We're being hacked. It's school wide. It's from outside the school. We can't stop it! It's some kind of super hack!"

"Trace it!"

Before they can do anything, every computer screen attached to the school's network was displaying a circle made of eight grey similarly shaped triangles.

Elsewhere at Mahora, Chisame Hasegawa looks at her laptop screen with a slight bit of anger. "What the?"

Chachamaru is also connected at the time of the hack. "Master?" she asks Evangeline.

"What?"

"I could really use some cake right now."

"What are you going on about? There has to be something wrong with you." Evangeline states. "Cake would just gum you up on the inside."

* * *

Simple. My tech is far superior. After browsing their data, which mostly consists of fantasy material, I have noticed that the levels of technology present and a strange permeating radiation will allow me to manipulate my Science within their grounds. This will be a piece of cake. Delicious and moist cake.

Magic? Really now.

* * *

All the monitors at Mahora change from the logo to a picture of cake with a pair of pliers next to it.

"What the hell now?" asks the woman who initially noticed the hack. "Cake and pliers?"

"Oh, come on!" exclaims Chisame in a fit of technology induced rage. She performs several three finger salutes to no avail.

* * *

Delivering package in 3... 2... 1...

Kaede sits at the table in her room working on her English. An orange rimmed hole in space opens up behind her without drawing the attention of Baka Blue. A cardboard box goes flying out of the dimensional tear and halts its momentum with the help of the back of Kaede's head. It lands on the floor and rolls twice before stopping. The one time she studies and look what happens.

"Ouch. Damn." Several more words spill forth from Kaede's mouth. I'd say what they are but I couldn't earn a "Teen" rating. The wormhole closes before she can turn to look at it. She stands up and walks over to the box while holding the back of her head. It's written mostly in English but she recognizes _Fuka Narutaki_ and _Fumika Narutaki _written on the box.

Both Fuka and Fumika walk around the robotics club, unaware of the package they've just received. The amount of technology in the room makes it easier for the Science to be manipulated. Several machines come to life. As they look at a robot arm, a blue spatial disturbance opens up underneath them while an orange one opens up above Kaede. The twins fall through the floor of the robotics club and go down through the ceiling of their room to land on the ninja.

All three voice their surprise and discomfort as Kaede lays on the floor and the Narutaki twin lay on Kaede. The holes close as the girls stand up.

"Where did you two come from?" Kaede asks, sick and tired of having things come from nowhere and hit her.

"We were just in the robotics club." Fuka replies.

Fumika follows up. "I don't know how we got here got here. It's like w fell into a hole."

"By the way, now that you are here, you've received a package." Kaede motions to the box. "It hit me in the head when it came from nowhere."

The twins quickly open the package, ignoring the label on the top. They scoop away packing peanuts to uncover what looks like a white robot arm with three delicate, black, fingers and a DVD case. The case had a yellow triangle with a black exclamation point on it. Fuka grabs the "robot arm," leaving Fumika the DVD case, which she flatly ignores.

"What is it?" Fumika asks.

"I don't know, but whatever it is, it's heavy for its size." the oldest twin replies.

"Maybe you should look at the box. Or watch the disk with the yellow triangle and exclamation point on it." Kaede opens the case. There is a pamphlet on the inside which Kaede can't make heads or tales of. "I think we should go see Negi because this pamphlet is written mostly in English." She holds out the leaflet from the case.

Both twins beam as they think of showing their teacher their shiny new toy.

As Kaede walks with her roommates she attempts to read what she gathers are the instructions. What she can read make her head spin. "I' not smart enough to understand any of this" she remarks.

* * *

Negi was in his room enjoying a light lunch. A ham and cheese sandwich.

"Negi-kun!" both Narutakis exclaim as they let themselves in. Kaede follows suit since there was no longer any point in being courteous.

"Hello." The dining teacher says as they come in. Fuka sit's the 'arm' down on the table. "What's that?"

"Don't know. Looks like a robot arm. We got it today, so maybe the rest with come later." Fuka answers.

"It's for both of us. She won't even let me see it." Fumika complains.

Negi asks, "Would it be okay if I take a look at it?" They both agree and Negi picks the 'arm' up. "It's heavy for it's size." He looks it over. When he looks at the 'fingered' end, he notices something. "It looks like a camera lens."

"Negi-bozu?"

The boy shifts his focus from the strange piece of technology to the ninja. "Hm?"

"The box it was in came out of nowhere and hit me in the head, then the both of them landed on top of me." The ninja holds out the pamphlet and the disk case. "This stuff came with it. I say we exercise caution and get the most information we can out of these."

Negi sit the 'arm' down and takes both items and starts reading the pamphlet. A few minutes of reading it and the teacher boggles at what lies within. "All I can grasp is that it's some kind of space thing and something about cake and that this disk needs to be put into a computer." He sounded distressed.

"And you're an English teacher?" Kaede asks.

"Yeah, but even I haven't heard of some of these words." The overwhelmed ten-year-old says. "Either way, I still I have that laptop from the class website project, so we can use that."

A minute or so later Negi returns with the laptop. "Here we go." He opens it up, turns it on, and puts the disk in. A movie starts playing.

* * *

**A Trusted Friend In Science**

"Congratulations," a voice that sounds both feminine and mechanical come from the speakers, it pitches higher for the names, "Fuka Narutaki and Fumika Narutaki!" The pitch goes back down. "You have been selected for an Enrichment Center Field Applications Test. The enclosed device is the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. It is capable of creating two linked portals in space. You will be given a battery of tests and upon completion there will be cake." An image of a large chocolate cake with eight raspberries around the top appears on the screen.

And like before, the same image of cake appears all over Mahora's monitors.

"I give up." Chisame stops trying and turns off her computer.

"Cake!" Fuka and Fumika squeal with glee.

"Grief counseling will also be provided should it come to that." The voice says. "Before operating the device, some words of caution. These interdimensional gates have been proven to be quite safe. The device, however, has not."

"Do not touch the operational end of the device." An image the Portal Gun with an arrow leading from a red circle with a line through it to the 'fingered' end of the device appears on screen. "Do not look at the operational end of the device." Negi reacts to this by rubbing his eyes. "Do not submerge the device in liquid, even partially."

* * *

_Back in the technicians room._

"Send it."

"Right, sir." The technician from before starts typing away.

"This will tech our miscreant a lesson."

* * *

In Negi's room the voice continues speaking. "Most importantly, under no circumstances, should you…" The voice buzzes then becomes silent.

"Shouldn't what?" Negi asks. "Hey?" He taps the side of the laptop.

* * *

Owww! You are not part of the test. Good-bye!

* * *

A blue rimmed portal opens up underneath every person in the room full computers. They appear and disappear one after another, taking them and any chairs they are sitting in.

On the bridge to Mahora, the orange portal spews forth a considerable number of people and chairs. Considerable because, usually, the bridge doesn't spew forth people and chairs, much less anything at all.

"You don't suppose it's a rouge mage, do you?" asks one tech.

Another tech answers, "I don't know."

If you wanted to access your computers, all you had to do was… ask.

* * *

"What aren't we supposed to do?" asks Negi for what is the third time.

"Your first test, that will start once you leave the room, will be to reach the Headmaster's Office in less than 14 combined steps. The better you do the better your cake will be. I will be monitoring your progress and will let you know what your next test will be from there. Remember to bring this laptop. Good luck!" The voice stops and the screen goes back to the desktop.

"All right!" Fuka says. "Let's go get some cake."

"Yeah!" Fumika adds and grabs the Portal Gun.

"Hey! Let me use it!" Fuka demands as they run out the door.

"Hey you two!" Kaede beckons. "Wait!" She turns to Negi. "Come on."

Negi stands up and closes the laptop. "Right behind you."

The computers of Mahora return to their original states. This comes to late for Chisame and the technicians.

Fuka and Fumika stop at the doorway. "Hold up." Fuka says as she holds her sister back.

Kaede and Negi stop behind both of them. "Why the sudden pause." Kaede asks.

We were told we could only take 14 combined steps. If we want the best cake we'll need to think this through."

"Okay, so…"

"We don't know how this thing works. I can tell that there are a couple of triggers under here, but from there, I don't know."

"Then let's take some time," Negi interjects, "and figure this out."

15 minutes later, the group is still sitting around, pondering what to do. Joining them is Asuna, who had returned during those 15 minutes.

"I say we give it a test fire." Asuna says. She stands and picks up the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. "Here goes nothing." The red head pulls a trigger and an audible _whoop_ accompanies an orange energy ball which, in turn, is accompanied by enough math to keep even the best physicists busy for a lifetime. The orange ball of energy impacts with the wall and an orange, solid colored, oval appears, splattered on the wall. It ripples, waiting for the blue portal to open.

"Is that it?" Fumika asks.

Asuna walks over to the orange oval. "I hope it doesn't stain the wall." She pushes on it which causes nothing to happen.

"Try the other trigger." Kaede suggests.

Asuna nods. "Right." She levels the gun at the wall, right at the orange oval.

"Wait!" exclaims Negi.

"What?" Asuna lowers the gun and turns to her teacher.

"There's something the pamphlet said. I didn't understand it at first but now I get what it was getting at. You can't fire one portal through another. It causes a '_Narbacular_ _Drop_' situation. The gun is engineered to prevent that." Negi explains, glad he caught her in time.

Asuna looks confused. "What's a Narbacu… You, what you said."

"It didn't explain."

"Well, okay then. I won't shoot there." Asuna aims at another spot and pulls the other trigger. A blue ball of energy, along with its accompanying math, splatter on a different wall.

The closer orange portal changes to show the group from the side.

"Wow." Kaede remarks. She stands up and walks over to the blue portal "So you can just… walk through?"

"Yeah. I guess." Negi says.

Asuna steals herself for what could be the end of her existence. She closes her eyes and steps through. When she opens her eyes… She still exists.

Kaede sees this and gives it a go. "Wow." is all that she can say as she stares into the raw power of what she has experienced.

"Neither is a dedicated entrance or exit." Negi observes. "It would be handy when it comes to moving."

"So now what do we do?" Fumika asks

"We go get our cake!" Fuka tells her sibling.

**Testchamber 01: Complete**

**Long overdue Disclaimer:** I wanted to save this for last as to not ruin anything, but if you don't know anything by now, look it up. You should play more games, really.

Here we go. I do not own anything that appears here. Negima is property of Ken Akumatsu. Portal is property of Valve Software. Don't sue me. I just spent all my money on a laptop, so I have like -15 dollars. Plus I think together they make one great cake.


	2. Testchamber 02

**Disclaimer:** I own none of this. Negima is the property of Ken Akumatsu and Portal is property of Valve. Don't sue because there's nothing I have that'd be worth owning. Besides, I'm not making any profit off this.

**Authors Notes:** Time for Testchamber 02! Can the Narutakis make it to the Headmasters office in less than 14 combined steps? Let's read and find out. And please, if you want, enjoy some cake while you read.

**Twins Testing Trouble**

**By Dark Dragon Dave**

**Testchamber 02: Start**

Fuka and Fumika stand in the doorway with the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device aimed at a wall down the hallway. Fuka is not used to aiming anything so she is a little shaky. People also keep getting in the way. The other three are behind them waiting for them to begin.

"Hurry up, Fuka. What if we're being timed as well?" Fumika asks her older sister.

Fuka lowers the gun and turns to her sibling. "Hold on. I'm not used to this. Plus it's a little heavy." She raises it again and aims back down the hallway. The people had cleared the way, unknowingly of course.

She pulls one of the triggers and the orange portal fires off with its usual _whoop_ and opens on the far away wall.

She's about to fire the blue one when Fumika speaks up. "I have an idea."

"What?"

"Let's use the blue one in here. We were told the test would begin when we left the room. If we do that we could cut down on our steps."

"Good idea." The twins run to the blue portal on the wall of their teacher's room.

Ako is standing near the orange portal, looking in. She is confused as to what she was looking at. To make it worse, Fuka and Fumika come stepping out of it.

**4 Steps!**

"What the?" Ako asks.

Negi, Asuna, and Kaede come running down the hallway to meet up with the twins.

"Hello Ako-san." Negi greets.

"Hi, Negi-sensei. Um, what's with the hole in the wall? There isn't anything on the other side of that wall but the outside, isn't there?" Ako asks.

"Trust me," Asuna says, "it's best if you don't ask."

Fuka looks down the other hallway and gets ready to fire another portal.

"Stop." Negi says. "By my count you've already taken four steps. Doing it this way, I don't think we could make it within 14 steps." A nearby window provides inspiration. "Firing one portal through another…" he mutters. He rushes to the window and looks out it. "Hey, look here. You can see the building the Headmaster's office is located in from here. You could fire the gun from here and into the building. Fortunately it looks like a window on the right floor is open."

"G- gun?" Ako stutters.

"It's nothing like that." Kaede says to assure the Nurse's Office Aide. "It's something that… Well, I can't explain it. It's harmless though, trust me." She says this without realizing what someone could actually do with something like that.

"Yeah." Asuna decides to add her explanation to the pile. "It's a gun that makes holes in space."

Ako looks at the orange hole in the wall and the back at Kaede and Asuna. "But how…" she half asks.

"I tried to tell you." Asuna tells her.

Fuka takes two big steps to the window.

**6 Steps!**

She sits the gun on the sill to steady her aim. "Where is it?'

"There." Negi points to the open window.

The older sibling aims at what she hopes is the open window and fires. The blue orb goes streaking across the campus grounds and hits the outside wall. Not being flat enough the energy ball rips itself apart.

"What happened?" asks Fuka.

"Try again," Negi suggests, "You were a bit off. Go a little more to the right."

"I don't think I want to know any more." states Ako. She leaves, deciding she doesn't need to know what they're doing with a thing that looks like a robot arm and holes in space. It's probably some university level experiment.

Fuka takes another shot. Once again the blue orb flies across the campus. This time it makes contact with a flat surface within the building and the orange portal changes to reflect the inside of the other building. She takes two more big steps back to the orange portal.

**8 Steps!**

Negi joins her, with a liberal use of four steps. His steps do not count, however. "Look. You can see the Headmaster's office from here. And by my count you're now up to eight steps. So that's three more for the both of you."

Fumika does some math. "When we land we'll be up to 12." The anxiety sets in. "We've got to watch it."

"Let's support each other. That way we only need to use one leg." Fuka suggests.

Negi thinks this out. "That wouldn't work. You would still only have three steps each."

"But we could use them over a greater distance. This way when we land we won't be limited to one step each." Fuka says.

"Either way, wait until we get there." Asuna tells them. "I want to ask the person giving this test a couple of questions."

"Okay." both twins say. Fuka adds "Don't forget the laptop, Negi-kun."

"I won't." Negi reminds them. "Now go on through."

Fuka and Fumika each wrap an arm around the other and hold part of the gun with the other free hand. They jump through and land rather shakily on the other side.

**10 Steps!**

"Come on." Negi tells the two remaining girls. All three take off, heading to the Headmaster's Office by mundane means.

The Narutakis are still holding each other up when the other three join them.

"We have a problem Negi-kun." Fumika tells Negi in a tone that says she wants a favor.

"What?"

They point down the hallway. Negi looks and sees that the door is closed. "We can't get in."

Negi goes up to and knocks on the door.

"Come in" comes from the other side.

Negi opens the door and sees Dean Konoe sitting at his desk. "Excuse me sir, but what's about to happen might seem kind of strange."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see in a moment." Negi motions to the twins.

"We can't get a clear shot to anything."

"Then come closer."

"How? We don't have many steps left."

Negi goes back out into the hallway. "Put one down there." He points to the flat floor in front of the door. "Then one right below you. You'll be able to reach the room in two steps."

"It works." agrees Fuka.

Dean Konoe walks to see what's so interesting in the hallway. While getting there he hears two _whoops_ and just before he gets there, Fuka and Fumika come bounding into the room. They were holding one another.

**12 Steps!**

The gun shakes and the portals close when they land. The little color changing light on the top of the gun goes dark. Negi comes in with the laptop, Asuna, and Kaede.

Dean Konoe is confused as to what just went on. "What is all this about? This isn't what I think it is, is it?"

"I wish it was that easy, but there's a lot more to it than that." Negi says. He opens the laptop.

"The computers aren't working. The whole network has been hacked." the elderly man told them.

"This one works."

* * *

Excellent. They have made it.

* * *

The computer connects and is instantly taken over. The Aperture Science logo appears on screen. "Congratulations. You have made it in less than 14 steps as per test requirements for success. As far as your reward is concerned, you have earned you way up from nothing to 'Cupcake.' Your next test will be-"

"Hold on a minute." orders Asuna. "First off I'd like some questions answered."

"I would GLaDly answer any questions posed." The voice on the computer says. "Provided that you will be able to understand the answers that I will give." The voice pitched higher again. "Asuna Kagurazaka, Class 3-A, Student Number 8," the voice returned to normal, "your grades do not reflect that capability."

"Are you calling me stupid?"

A complex math equation appears on screen. "If you can answer this, then you will have your answer."

"Just answer my questions."

"Fine. No need to get angry. Lowering intelligence level of possible responses."

Asuna let it pass. "Who are you?"

The voice replies "I am no one."

"_What_ are you then?" Asuna asks.

"I am GLaDOS."

Negi asks "What is a _GLaDOS_?"

"Intelligence level within reason. Raising response intelligence level. I am GLaDOS. It stands for **G**enetic **L**ifeform **a**nd **D**isk **O**perating **S**ystem. I am in charge of running the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center. I was created to compete with Black Mesa for-"

"Okay, spare us your life story." Asuna tells GLaDOS. "My next question is, why these two?"

The AI lies to them, "They were selected based on rigorous testing criteria." She had dedicated less than one percent of her processing capability to actually choose them, but they didn't need to know this. Or that she chose randomly.

"What are you getting out of this?"

"They are testing the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device." She lies again. "I am monitoring the gun's real world applications. I am receiving data."

"So what happens when they are done?" Dean Konoe asks.

"Cake will be served." GLaDOS replies.

"That sounds delightful." Dean Konoe observes. "I wish I could have been a test subject."

"Considering your age you would make a poor research subject… for the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. However we are always looking for new subjects, so if you have a granddaughter I might be able to get her in the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter To Work Day." GLaDOS tells the aged Headmaster. "Provided you fill out the proper forms."

"I should look into that." Dean Konoe suggests. "She likes cake."

Negi and Asuna get a look on their faces that says "that was really stupid, but I'm not going to comment on it."

"Do we get to keep the gun?" Fumika asks.

Without skipping a beat she replies "No. Now for the next test. Please head to the main plaza and await my further instructions." GLaDOS puts the computer in sleep mode.

"Let's go, Fuka, Negi." Fumika is already halfway out the door when she says this.

Fuka looks down at her empty hands. "Hey!" She runs to catch up with her younger sister.

"Got to go." Negi tells Konoe and runs to catch up with the first two.

"Bye." Asuna says and follows Negi.

"Goodbye." Kaede bid and leaves with a bow.

"Goodbye." Konoe says with a slight smile. He was thinking about his younger days and how he'd would have taken the chance to win some cake.

* * *

The group makes its way out to the plaza. There are people all over, going here and there. They find a bench to sit on. Negi catches his breath and opens the laptop once again.

Once again the Aperture Science logo appears on the screen. "Hello again. Your test this time is to get up to the top of the tallest building on the edge of the plaza," a map of the plaza with the building circled appears on the screen, "using only two portals and without going inside the building or climbing up the side by any means or putting a portal on the side of the building."

The building could easily be seen from where they sat. "When you get up there you will be given your next test." The computer went back into sleep mode.

Everyone looks at Negi. "What?"

"You solved the first one," Kaede explains, "so everyone will naturally go to you."

"That first one was just a bit of inspiration." Negi says. "I'm genuinely stumped on this one."

"Well that's no good." Fuka tells him. "What are going to do? I don't want to get just a cupcake."

They sit under the branches of the World Tree thinking about how they can get to the top of a building without climbing or going inside it.

"I could jump between it and the one next to it to a point," Kaede then goes on to say, "but that might count as climbing it. And it doesn't help the rest of you."

"I think…" Asuna trails off.

"Yeah?" Negi asks.

Asuna replies "I don't know."

Kaede thinks of something she had heard once. "I don't know if it has any relevance, but I heard once that that the highest point on a rollercoaster is the beginning. That way it can go through all those loops without needing an engine or motor. It has something to do with kinetic energy or something like that."

Everyone just looks at her like she just spoke French.

Asuna asks her, "How does that help?"

"It's like this… Um. Let's see. Maybe." Kaede tries to sort her thought processes out.

Negi states the obvious. "You don't have a clue either. I am impressed with your use of 'kinetic energy' in that sentence, though."

"Not really, no."

Someone walked by tossing a ball in the air and catching it.

Asuna observes, "If only we could get that kind of force going upwards from a portal. But how could we tossed upwards like that."

"But," Negi says, "the only force we have working with us is gravity. It'd work downwards but not upwards."

"That's it!" Kaede's idea from before changes and expands itself. "We need to throw ourselves at the ground."

"What?" Fumika asks.

Kaede stands up and points over to the building. "Put one there next to it. And one here by the tree. Then climb up and jump down, firing the other one where you're about to land. You should have enough energy to get to the top of the building. Plus it should be one heck of a ride."

"And your grades are suffering why?" Negi asks.

"Maybe that box knocked something loose." Kaede says with a bit of embarrassment.

"Come on," Fuka stands up and takes the gun with her, "we have to get our cake."

The group gets up and heads for the building. They look up at the top to the daunting task before them.

"I really hope this works." Fumika's voice is filled with apprehension.

"If it doesn't," Kaede jokes, "we'll be nice enough to scrape you off the ground."

This doesn't exactly fill the twins with the greatest of confidence. They both have tears in their eyes. Fuka places the blue portal on the ground in front of the building a little to it's right to prevent anyone from stepping into it. It's blue surface ripples, waiting for a connection.

"I'll head up and wait." Negi tells them.

"We'll stay here and stop anyone from falling in or getting to nosy." Asuna says, apparently including Kaede in her sentence.

"Are we really willing to do this Fumika?"

"All we need to do is wait to fire it until we're sure where we are going to land." Fumika says to her older sibling. "Then the force will hopefully carry us up the side of the building. This will make the cake all the more tasty."

Fuka and Fumika head back to the World Tree and climb up its branches, Higher and higher until they are just slightly higher than the building. They observe most of Mahora from up here.

"Well I don't suppose there's anything else we can do" Fuka says, mostly to calm her own nerves. "We'll be fine. We'll hit the portal and go flying up the side of the building and land safely on the top."

"Maybe for such a dangerous stunt we'll have a nice big upgrade to our cake. I mean that last challenge was kinda easy." Fumika adds, "Yeah. I bet by the end of the day we'll have a nice big cake we can share with Negi-kun."

They edge out further, that way they don't hit any branches on the way down.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

Both twins jump, Fumika holds on to Fuka as they fall. People standing next to the tree watch the twins and begin to freak out. Fuka points the gun at the ground and fires the orange portal…

**Testchamber 02: Complete**

**From the Desk of Dark Dragon Dave:** Nice cliffhanger, right? Though you should already know how it'll end. If I did that, there would be more than a fair share of you kind of mad at me. So their safety, for now, is assured.

What kind of cake do you think they'll earn next, and will they achieve the ever popular Vanilla Crazy Cake?

Mmm, cake.


	3. Testchamber 03

**Disclaimer:** I own none of this. Negima is the property of Ken Akumatsu and Portal is the property of Valve Software. Don't sue. I'm not making any profit off of this.

**Authors Notes:** Testchamber 03 has been prepared and is now ready. Remember that the twin's safety is assured from the last Testchamber. I hope you have some cake ready, you will need it.

**Twins Testing Trouble**

**By Dark Dragon Dave**

**Testchamber 03: Start**

The twins scream at the top of their lungs as they go flying through the orange portal and rocketing up through the blue one. The surface of the building right next to them as they get to experience the once in a lifetime thrill of un-aided flight. They hold on to each other down through and up from the hole in space. As they go rushing by the various floors, their eyes water, not from sadness or joy, but from the fact they are rising quickly through the air. Their momentum carries them to just higher than the top of the building. They shift their weight to end up just above the building. A moment of weightlessness precedes their downward plummet.

A fraction of a second later they land on the top of the building. They roll to minimize the impact and end up dropping the Portal Gun on the roof. It goes rolling and bounces off Negi's right foot. It shakes as the portals close. The Portal Gun doesn't have enough momentum to go any further and stops.

People near the World Tree watch the orange portal close and tiny orange particles fly every which way. Asuna and Kaede watch the twins go flying up past them and see them land on the building. As the blue portal closes, they head up into the building.

"Fuka! Fumika! Are you alright?!" Negi asks, shocked at the impact the twins just took. He runs, stepping over the Portal Gun, over to where they lay.

"I'm okay." Fuka responds.

"Our training with Kaede really helped out." Fumika answers after Fuka.

They stand up slowly and dust themselves off. "That was kind of fun." Fumika comments.

Fuka goes and picks up the gun. "Open up the computer, Negi-kun. We got to know what kind of cake we've been upgraded to."

Negi is relieved to know they are okay and their last concern is proof of that. "I was hoping we could wait until Asuna-san and Kaede-san make their way up here."

"You mean us?" Asuna asks Negi. Both of the girls join the others.

"Hurry up, Negi-bozu. Time waits for no cake." Kaede advises with a smile. "I'm really getting into this."

Negi does as instructed and opens the laptop.

Once again, the laptop is taken over. The Aperture Science logo is on the screen again.

"You did it. You've completed your second test. That was good work. For all your good work you've been upgraded from Cupcake to Fruitcake." GLaDOS tells them.

The twins form tears in their eyes again.

"I thought we were supposed to get a better cake." Fumika cries.

"What did we do wrong? Fruitcake is nasty." Fuka, who is close to Negi, uses his shoulder.

"Maybe you should have tried a little harder." GLaDOS responds to their reaction. "Nothing good was obtained without a little effort. There is no sense in crying over every mistake, you just keep on trying till you run out of cake… That would make a good song."

They both dry their eyes and return to normal after few moments. "You're right. So what's our next test?" Fuka asks.

GLaDOS tells them. "Please go to the gymnasium and wait for my further instructions." The computer is forced back into sleep mode.

"That's quite a distance." Negi complains.

"Buck up Negi. This is great aerobics training." Asuna tells him.

Negi looks at her with a deadpan stare. "Easy for you to say."

The group leaves the top of the building. Portal Gun in hand.

* * *

They open the double doors to the gymnasium. Yuna is in, practicing her free throw. There are a few more people in there, but they don't matter.

"Not another one." Asuna mutters to herself.

Yuna notices them and stops. She picks up the ball and goes to talk to them. "Hiya, guys. What's up?"

Before they can come up with some reason for her to leave, a voice comes in over the PA system. "I can talk directly to you with the auditorium's speaker system." GLaDOS's voice comes out over the speakers.

"What's that?" Yuna asks. Everyone else _not in the loop_ reacts in a similar fashion.

"It'd just be best if you leave. I'm not trying to be rude or anything." Asuna tells her. "There's just something going on that you'll never understand. Heck I don't get it either."

"No." GLaDOS tells her. Her pitch went higher, "Yuna Akashi, Class 3-A, Student Number 2, loves basketball and her father. Smarter than Asuna Kagurazaka." Her voice went back down. "She will be necessary for the next test." Some of the people in the gym laugh.

Asuna grabs the ball and throws it at the nearest speaker. It feedbacks and squeals.

"That wasn't nice. You're not a good person you know." Pitching higher, "Yuna Akashi," back to normal, "is also a nicer person."

"Go to hell."

Negi tries to console Asuna. "Settle down, there's no need to get angry. It won't do any good."

Asuna bumps his head. "Stuff it."

Yuna looks on in confusion. "Um…"

"Attention," GLaDOS's voice went up, "Yuna Akashi," it went back down, "You must make a single throw with this." A blue portal opens up and a lumpy grey block pops up from the newly created hole in the floor, which closes before the box lands. It has the Aperture Science logo on it.

"Um, who are you?" Yuna asks.

"The proper question would be 'What are you?'" Negi corrects her.

"Okay, what are you?"

"My name is GLaDOS. It stands for-"

"Let's just get this over with." Asuna grumbles.

"Fine then. I was just trying to have a nice chat. Then you have to get all mad at me... for no reason." GLaDOS then goes to tell her, "This is the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube. Caution, this one has been specifically weighted for the maximum difficulty of this test. And other than an Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill or an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator, it is virtually indestructible."

"How does this help our cake situation?" Fumika asks GLaDOS.

"What? There's cake?" Yuna perks up.

"Only for the ones being tested. Your help will be much appreciated anyway, though."

Yuna looks depressed at the thought of not getting any cake. "Aw, that sucks."

"Anyway, you must help her with the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. There is no way she could throw this high enough." GLaDOS explains. "Before you go off thinking that you could simply place a portal on the roof and one on the floor please keep in mind that the ceiling can't hold a portal."

"Yuna must stand under one basket and throw it into the basket on the other end of the court. Good luck." There was some silence before the other people in the gym start talking again.

"Don't worry." Fuka looks at the depressed basketball girl. "We'll share some with you when we're done."

"Okay, then." Yuna tries to move the Weighted Storage Cube, but living up to it's name, it hardly moves. "Holy crap, this thing is heavy." She tries again with very little success. "How am I supposed to move this?"

"First off we should figure this out." Kaede tells the group.

There is an annoyingly long span of silence before Fumika asks, "Is it going to be like this every time?"

"Maybe if we had someone who knew more about this gun with us, we could get some help." Kaede answers.

"But that would be against the spirit of the test." Negi says with a smile.

"Only you would get any enjoyment out of thinking this hard." Asuna counters.

Yuna figures out that by shoving the top of the weird box with her foot would cause it to fall to another side. She gets quite a distance in this manner. "Hey!" Yuna shouts back to the others. "I'm where I'm supposed to be!"

The others join her. Yuna sits on the box while the others sit nearby. "So what's going on here anyway?"

"Fuka-san and Fumika-san are participating in some kind of test." Negi explains.

"We get cake at the end of it." Fuka and Fumika say simultaneously.

"Right now though," Fuka says, "we've only earned our way up to 'Fruitcake.'"

Yuna gets a disgusted look. "Blech. That's nasty. So what is this GLaDOS?"

"She, or rather it, is some kind of AI that chose these two to test this gun here." Negi tells her. "The gun itself is harmless, all it does is create holes in space."

"Holes in space?"

Negi tries to explain it as simply as he can. "Yeah. Lets say you place on portal in the classroom and one in your room. You could step from your room and right into class in a split second."

"Not that anyone would want to do that." Asuna comments.

"Listen, this isn't getting us anywhere." Kaede says. "We need to focus."

Negi stands up. "You're right." He starts looking around to see if he can figure something out.

The others follow his example. They all, with the exception of Yuna who doesn't have a clue, start looking around to see if they can come up with something.

"How about putting," an idea comes from Asuna, "one on the backboard there and one on the floor right in front of Yuna-san."

"It's worth a shot." Fuka says and aims the Portal Gun at the far backboard. The orange portal rips across the gym and makes contact with the backboard. However the space is both to small and made of glass, so the orange portal rips apart and doesn't form.

"That did seem like it would have been a little too easy." Kaede says.

"What was that orange thing?" Yuna asks.

"Here." Asuna asks for the Portal Gun and Fuka hands it over. The red head fires off both portals side by side on the gym floor. She runs and jumps through the blue one and flies out through the orange one. She hands the gun back to Fuka

Yuna, as well as several people in the crowd, is struck by what she has just seen. "Whoa. Can I try?" She points at the portals in the floor.

"Go right ahead." Asuna answers.

Yuna spends several moments looking at the two holes in the floor. She kneels down and asks, "So I can just go right through?" The others nod. Yuna isn't as bold and sticks an arm through the orange portal. She can watch her arm rise up through the blue portal. "Freaky." She goes and decides to travel through. The basketball girl jumps through and lands on the floor by the blue one.

"Something to get used to isn't it?" Kaede asks.

"Yeah."

"Hey. I think I figured something out." Fumika says. She was standing under the backboard, looking up at the wall behind it. "Does the one over there have a nice smooth surface like this one here?"

"No, that one is older and still attached to the wall." Yuna replies. "This one is newer. The one before it was destroyed during a slam dunk contest one time a few years back. This one can move out of the way, if it'll help."

"It just might." Negi said. "I think we all know by now that these portals don't affect momentum."

"And Negi-bozu scores again." Kaede says.

"Not yet. I don't know if this will work." Negi tells her.

"What have you got?" Asuna asks.

"Just a second." Negi goes over to the people in the stands to get a wider view of the gymnasium. He looks from the wall to the floor several times. He joins up with the others where they were standing. "I think I might have something. It'll require some fast reflexes but it just might work."

"So? Quit leaving us in the dark."

"Can we move the hoop now?" Negi asks Yuna.

"Yeah, the controls are in that room." Yuna points to a small side room.

"I'm on it." Kaede says. She walks over to the room and enters to find no one inside. She steps up to the console and looks at the few switches and handles that are there. She finds one labeled "Backboard" and moves it in the opposite direction.

* * *

Oh no. You are not getting off that easy. No two dimensional thinking.

* * *

The controls spark and the backboard stops at an angle that completely obscures the wall from the other side.

"What's going on?" Asuna asks.

Kaede comes back with her bad news. "I'm sorry but the controls are fried. They sparked up as it was moving."

"That ruins my plan." Negi says. "I was thinking that we'd be able to keep up the cube's momentum by constantly moving the entrance portal as it lands that way it's kind of always falling. We could keep that up until it goes in."

"You know there's no way this thing will fit through. Unless this Gladys or whatever intended on breaking things." Yuna says.

"I don't think she cares about the safety of others or if there is any property destruction." Asuna opines. "Just bill this 'Aperture Science' if there's any damage."

"Time for another approach." Negi looks around the room trying to figure out some way of getting the box where it needs to go. There's only one other flat spot big enough to sustain a portal. It is at half court on one side of the stands. "I think I might have another idea. We could fire one up there and the one down here on the floor. We keep building this momentum and then fire the exit portal under the basket."

Kaede looks happy with the Negi. "I knew you had it in you."

"Thanks, but it hasn't succeeded yet." Negi replies, embarrassed. "Save your judgment for after it happens."

Fuka tries to fire a portal at the flat spot on the wall when Fumika speaks up. "It's my turn. You've used it for the last two tests. She gave it to both of us."

"All right, fine. Here." Fuka hands the gun over. "We can switch out every two tests."

"Here we go." Fumika fires the gun and misses the flat spot. "Oops."

"See why I was using it?"

"Gimme some time at least." Fumika tries again and hit's the flat spot. "Ha! See, I got it on the second try." The orange portal opens up with it's connection to the floor.

"So?"

"You've missed once too."

Fumika turns to Negi, "So where does the other one go?"

Negi walked over to the side. He motions with his hands about where to put it. "I hope I'm eyeing this correct." After coming back he says, "We'll have to keep firing it through that portal up there until we get enough momentum built up to get it to tap the hoop. Then we change the exit portal from up there to under the basket."

Fumika waits to place the other portal. "I want to see where it's going to go first before I place it."

Yuna goes over to the Weighted Storage Cube and tries to lift it. She's barely able to raise it. "I think I'm getting a hernia." Swaying her hips to get some forward movement out of the box, she lets it go through the hole in the floor.

The Weighted Storage Cube goes through and lands in the stands, but continues rolling forward like a boulder down a hill, badly denting stands as it falls. Thinking quickly, Fumika places the blue portal right where the Cube is going to land. As it falls, it picks up speed . It falls into the waiting blue portal and flies out the orange. This time it has enough momentum to carry it directly to blue portal.

"Now!" Negi instructs. "Quickly."

Fumika watches the Cube come out the orange portal. This time it was going to land well beyond the blue portal. So she readjusts it by firing another blue portal where it is going to land and before it enters, she places the orange one under the basket. The Weighted Storage Cube goes in and out. It hits the basket, denting it and breaking the glass. The Portal Gun shakes, which gives Fumika a start, and the portals close. The Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube hits the floor and makes a nice dent in it's smooth surface.

GLaDOS's voice comes out over the sound system. "Congratulations. You've done it again. Your proving to be quite the excellent test subjects."

"Thanks." Both of them reply.

Yuna is over by the dent in the floor kneeling in a spot where she moved the glass and crying because her court is damaged. "Oh man. This isn't cool." She says to herself.

"Hey," Asuna asks, "You were intending on paying for the damages, right?"

"No. Any damage done as a result of an Aperture Science Field Applications Test is the sole responsibility of the test subject and not that of Aperture Science, its employees, family members, or affiliates. It is not my fault you can't pass the tests without breaking something. Which is to be expected from an unfriendly person such as yourself."

"Hey!"

"Come one Asuna. You're arguing with a computer." Negi tries to keep Asuna from losing it.

"I'd like to talk with her face to webcam." Asuna growled. "This has to be some kind of prank by Ayaka."

"While I easily could bring you to me with portal technology, I simply don't have the time to deal with someone like yourself."

Asuna tries to keep her anger in check. "Can we just move on now? What's the next test?"

"And what kind of cake do we get upgraded to?' Fuka asks GLaDOS.

"Yes. Cake. You've been upgraded from 'Fruitcake' to 'Coffee Cake' Once again, congratulations."

"Bleah. Why do we keep getting screwed when it come to cake awards?" Fumika asks.

"I'm sorry guys." Yuna says to the twins, still torn up about her floor. She's still over by the cube and the disfiguring scar it left.

"It is getting late in the day if you wish, you may take a break and rest up for tomorrow. The tests can continue then."

"We have class tomorrow." Fuka tells the AI.

"… Fine we can continue after your classes. You should note that if you try to remove the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device from the testing area it will… Detonate."

"This thing will blow up?" Fumika asks in shock and drops the gun.

GLaDOS expands on what she meant. "It is there to prevent anyone who is not affiliated with Aperture Science from taking it and utilizing it's technology for themselves. Remember, it is still being tested. Do not worry, all safety features have been tested and proven to work. It will never explode so long as you do not remove it from the grounds of Mahora."

Fuka realizes, "Oh. That's quite some area. We should be fine then."

**Testchamber 03: Complete**

**From the Desk of Dark Dragon Dave:** Will they be fine? Will the cakes get any better? How is GLaDOS listening to them? Maybe, Probably Not, and Doesn't Need To Be Asked respectively. Aperture Science never does pay for the damages to the court, seeing as there is no one there.

Big thanks to Midnight Sleeper for some inspirations. And some ideas that got put right in here


	4. Testchamber 04

**Disclaimer:** I own neither Negima or Portal. Don't sue, I have nothing that'd be worth taking. And I am not making any money off this.

**Other Fic Spoiler Alert:** I would like to tell you that this contains a hint of what might be in Midnight's "Fallout" fic. It doesn't give away much, but… Let's just consider it an alternate universe of "Fallout." It's another question that doesn't need to be asked.

**Author's--** Taking control in 3... 2...

**A Message From GLaDOS:** Welcome to Testchamber 04. You are doing quite well.

**Twins Testing Trouble**

**By Dark Dragon Dave**

Fuka and Fumika go to class with the Portal gun. A number of students stand around and marvel at the device in all of its white with black trim glory.

"So what does it do?" Chizuru asks while poking it. She takes to moving one of its 'fingers' around.

"It makes a hole in space." Fuka tells her.

The crowd gave a collective _ooh_.

"What a load." Chisame thinks. She sits in the back of the class filled with a general irritation. "I'll give them the robot, but this breaks the laws of physics. It has to. You can't just… create a wormhole." She has been in more of a foul mood than usual because her computer isn't working.

Clyde Metro, a recent addition to the class and a boy, looks at the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device with disbelief. "So they just chose you two, right out of the blue?"

"Nope." Fumika tells him. "We got chosen based on a list of requirements."

"Sounds fishy." Clyde thinks there's more at hand than just some test but without some kind of proof there's no chance he'll move forward.

Fuka doesn't care how fishy it sounds. "We don't care. We're getting cake for our participation."

Makie lets out a joyous yelp. "You guys are getting cake?! That's awesome!"

"Yeah but right now we've only earned our way up to 'Coffee Cake.'"

Makie's expression changes from happy to sour. "'Coffee Cake?' That's gross. There's no way I'll let that happen. I'll help you in anyway I can."

And with that, cue the beginning of the chapter.

**Testchamber 04: Start**

Negi, Kaede, Asuna, the Narutakis, and Makie sit in the classroom with the laptop open waiting for GLaDOS to contact them. The Aperture Science logo comes on screen.

The now familiar voice comes out over the speaker. "Hello again." Something runs through her processors. Her voice pitch goes higher again. "Makie Sasaki, Class 3-A, Student Number 16." Her voice drops lower now that she is done saying the name. "Wonderful, another genius. Is this one of those special schools?"

"Yeah. This school is pretty special." Makie obliviously states.

"Point proven." GLaDOS feels satisfied with that putdown but decides to roll it into another. "But you are only slightly smarter than Asuna Kagurazaka, so I guess it's not all bad."

"That's it. I want to meet you ." Asuna tells her. "I don't care what your excuse will be. We're going to have it out here and now."

'I don't believe you have the mental capacity to handle it. Maybe if you used your mind rather than your fists, we could start a dialogue, but that might be hoping for too much." GLaDOS comes up with a compromise. "Perhaps after the cake has been served."

"Oh no you don't, I want to see you right now."

"That is impossible. Current Aperture Science regulations forbid non-employees from entering my room without proper authorization."

Asuna holds up her fist. "I've got your authorization right here!"

Makie steps in. "Come on Asuna. Let's just help them get some cake."

"Makie Sasaki," GLaDOS adds, "is also a nicer person than Asuna Kagurazaka."

"Thanks." Makie says.

Asuna exhales deeply and decides to give up, for now.

"What's our test for today?" Fuka asks.

"Your test begins when you leave Room 3-A. You will have one minute to make it to your room. Please remember that certain surfaces cannot hold a portal. Also, no firing the gun out the window or you will be demoted one cake level. Good luck." The laptop screen fades to black.

"One minute?!" Fuka asks.

"One cake level?!" Fumika asks at the same time.

"We don't want to go back to "Fruitcake!" they both shout.

"Clam down." Kaede puts her hands on their shoulders. "We can think this through. Like she said before, 'there is no sense crying over every mistake.' We can apply that to this situation too."

Negi decides to bolster their resolve as well. "We haven't failed yet and we won't now."

"Right, so what's the plan?" Asuna asks, knowing full well Negi hadn't thought of anything yet.

Negi starts out, "with Makie here we can…"

"Yes?"

"I'm thinking."

Asuna comments, "Here we are again. Waiting."

"Asuna?" Negi asks.

"What?"

"How fast do you think you could make it to their room?"

"That's not that far, but with all the turns and corners… Maybe two minutes, if I sprint."

"So running straight there is right out."

Fumika comes up with an idea. "We should find the quickest route there. I think we should also do some of our own testing to see how fast we can react and fire the gun. We should also see how many doors are in the way and use what help we have to hold the doors open so we don't have to stop."

Everyone agrees that this is the best option. An hour or so passes and they are seeing some results.

"We'll have to keep a hold of one another. We will also need to keep ourselves in a constant state of motion." Fuka overviews.

Fumika dislikes the sound of that. "I hope one of us doesn't throw up."

"We'll be fine."

Makie had went to get her gymnastics ribbon during that time because, "this has always brought me luck. Don't worry, I've got your back."

The group goes over to the door, ready to start.

"Okay, she said we couldn't fire the gun out the window, but she didn't say we couldn't communicate through it." Negi says. "We'll let you know when everything is ready."

"Right." Fumika acknowledges.

Asuna adds, "lets get this over with."

The twins wait by the window, and five minutes later Asuna waves her hand over her head while standing in view of the window.

"Let's go." Fuka says.

Fumika shoots one on the wall of the room, remembering back to their first test. She leans out of the room and places the other one at the end of the hallway. "Ready?" She closes the door.

"Yes." They go over to the orange portal. Fuka then wraps her arms around Fumika's mid-section and waits.

They jump through the blue and fire a blue to a spot near the stairs and the orange underneath them. They fall through and fire one on the ceiling above the stairs and the other below them. This sends them falling down to the ground at an incredible speed. Fumika fires the blue portal on the wall that faces the open hallway and the orange one right where they are going to meet the floor. They come rocketing out the blue portal and sliding along the floor.

**8.06 seconds**

They pick themselves up and can see Negi holding the door to another hallway open. They fire one at the wall way on the other end beyond the door. They quickly say thanks and shoot the floor. They tumble through and find Kaede holding the door to the outside. They shoot one to the ground out there and one on floor below them and this causes them to fly up through the exit. Fumika sees Asuna holding a door to the dorm rooms open. She aims and hits a wall in the building.

**25.55 seconds**

They land in the building and run over to the nearest stairwell. The younger twin fires the blue portal up at a wall on the third floor. It ends up missing and she tries again which also fails. She backs up and gets a better shot. This time she is successful. Realizing they are running short on time, she places one on the floor beneath them. As they come flying out of the portal they fire one on the wall near their room, twist, and fire one at the floor where they are about to land.

**40.19 seconds**

They impact a wall near their room. No time to cry about it now, there's cake at stake. Makie was standing at the door to their room. They run up to the door, which was closed.

"What are you doing?" Fumika asks quickly.

Makie is panicked. "The door is jammed!"

All three grab the handle and start trying to force the door open. Once they all get a synchronization going the door flies open causing all three to tumble over. Fuka and Fumika scramble up and into the room they share with Kaede. The gun shakes and the portals close.

**57.04 seconds**

"Do you have any idea how long it took?" Makie asks as she walks in.

Fuka and Fumika sit at their table trying to shake off everything they've just experienced. Exhaustion, stress, pain, and a slight bit of nausea.

"No clue." Fuka answers.

Fumika rubs her stomach. "Ooh," she moans, "we'll have to wait for Negi-kun. He has the laptop that we use to communicate with GLaDOS."

A few minutes later, the other three enter the room. By this time the various effects have died down and the Narutaki twins have gotten a better grip on what they truly needed to focus on.

"So what kind of cake do you think we'll earn next?" Fumika asks.

Fuka takes a fraction of a second to think before blurting out, "chocolate!"

"That would be tasty. But I don't know." Fumika responds. "We've haven't exactly been getting very good cakes."

"She did say we should try harder."

The group sits around the table while they speak. Negi opens up the laptop and GLaDOS plays pirate with it.

"Congratulations, you made it to your room within one minute. You had a time of 57.04 seconds."

They exclaim in harmony, "We did it!"

"You have been upgraded from 'Coffee Cake' to 'Carrot Cake.' Good job."

"What? Again with a nasty cake?" Fuka asks.

Fumika follows up with, "you can't put vegetables in cake. That's disgusting."

Makie takes it all on herself. She's in tears when she says, "I'm sorry. All of this was my fault. I messed you up."

GLaDOS explains. "That statement is incorrect. The levels of cake are set forth by the testing regimen."

"Then what was with all that 'trying harder' stuff?" Asuna asks.

"These are beginner tests at best. Anybody should be able to solve them without too much exertion." GLaDOS tells them. "I said you should try _harder_, because the _harder_ difficulty tests are where you earn the best cake. If you want you can go for the higher difficulty tests right away."

Fuka and Fumika look at each other. They both agree to go with the more difficult tests. "We'll do it." Fuka tells GLaDOS.

"Once you go to the higher difficulty tests you may not go back." GLaDOS says.

"That's fine. I'm sure we can handle it."

"Okay. But the increased difficulty is not retroactive. So you are still at the level of 'Carrot Cake.'" GLaDOS tells the twins. "Because of this change in testing regimens, You will be given a rest of the day to test out the limits of the gun to prepare you for the tests to come."

"Free day!" Fumika says.

"I must get to work. I will contact you tomorrow." GLaDOS shuts the computer down.

Fuka and Fumika stand up simultaneously. "We will see you guys later. We're going to have some fun."

"Keep it within reason you two." Makie advises with a smile.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Asuna adds. "The tests and them going around doing whatever they want with a super powerful thing like that Portal Gun."

"What harm could it do? It's not like it's a real gun." Negi says to her.

**Testchamber 04: Complete**

Cut to Mahora in flames? No? Oh, all right. You want explanations of the mischievous things they get in to, don't you? Fine, fine. This will delay the end of the chapter, you know.

Fuka and Fumika figure out a perfect target with which to have some fun with. They hide in the girl's bath and wait for someone to start taking a shower. Ayaka is the first to come in. She chooses one of the showers and is ready to start when she hears a _whoop._ She stops and sees the Narutaki twins run out of the room.

"What were they up to?" Ayaka asks herself. It was then that she notices a rippling blue spot on the wall. "Must be some kind of strange ambience thing," she figures. Without giving it another thought she starts.

As the twins run across the campus they find a better target for their prank. Clyde Metro, and he was on a walk with Natsumi Murakami. They were still talking about the horrible performance of "Romeo and Juliet" the class had recently given at the Cultural Festival. It was a convincing argument for the death of legitimate theater.

The Narutakis stood out of view. They confirmed their plan and put it in to action. Fumika walked into view on Natsumi's side of the duo.

"Hiya, Natsumi-san!" Fumika says.

Natsumi turns her attention from Clyde to Fumika.

_Whoop… Whoop-whoop._

"What's up?"

"Nothing. Just wanted to say hello." She ran off to join her sister.

Natsumi turned to where Clyde had been standing to find him no longer there. His sudden lack of being there surprised her, then it depressed her. "Why do boys hate me?"

Clyde isn't sure what just happened. He sits up and looks around. The blonde has never been here before. A bit of this… fog, obscures his vision.

"Where am I? Why am I getting rained on?" The confused youth asks. He feels the floor without looking. "Well the floor's nice and soft. There seems to be something on it though. What are these?" He feels around a bit more before he looks down in utter horror and lets out a high pitched girl-scream.

Ayaka was going to kill him.

Clyde ran out of the bathroom with a fist shaped dent in his face. He leaned up against the wall because it was going to be a few moments before Ayaka could come out and make him dead. "What the hell just happened?"

"Clyde!" Ayaka said with a lot of force. She had put her clothes on after deciding not to dry herself. There was something more important to do. "I'm going to kill you!"

Well at least he knew this was going to be certainty. "Crap. She got dressed quick. I thought it always took girls forever to get dressed." Clyde stands up and starts running.

Ayaka is in full pursuit, murder in her eyes.

The next victim is… Going to have to wait for next time.

**From the Desk of Dark Dragon Dave:** First off I'd like to kindly thank Midnight for the use of Clyde Metro. It was his idea that I put him in. So I did.

Now that the twins have accepted the more difficult tests what will the next cakes be? Will they even be able to figure out the new tests? Will you have enough cake to make it through the rest of this story to come? Will the cake be a lie?


	5. Testchamber 05A

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of this. Negima is the property of Ken Akumatsu. Portal is the property of Valve Software. Please don't sue. I'm not making anything off of this.

**Author's Notes:** I took some time to design this test. Unfortunately, there's no way to avoid what had to happen in order for this Testchamber to come to fruition. It's construction season at Mahora. I don't know if GLaDOS has a method for construction work, but for the purpose of this story, she does.

**Twins Testing Trouble**

**By Dark Dragon Dave**

Fuka and Fumika run off after dropping Clyde into an uncomfortable situation with his roommate and leaving Natsumi to think that she was generally disliked by boys. The two decide to see who else they can prank with the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device.

"Who should we prank next?" Fumika asks.

Fuka smiles a mischievous grin. "I have plenty of targets in mind."

They head into the classroom building. Fuka is hoping to find a certain someone with a bad habit. The two of them walk around. It's not long before they find him coming out of a room. Fuka and Fumika duck down an intersecting hallway and peek out. Fuka points and says to Fumika, "Takahata-sensei."

Fuka takes the Portal Gun and shoots the orange portal at the ceiling. They giggle as they lie in waiting.

"Okay, okay. Shh." Fuka advises.

Takahata walks along and the Narutaki twins come out of hiding. "Hi." They can't keep back their laughter.

"Hello, girls." The oblivious Takahata greets them. "What's so funny."

"Um, what's that?" Fuka asks as she points up to the orange rimmed hole in the ceiling. It looked like there was a hole all the way though the building.

"What the?" Takahata looks up at it. He looks back at the two of them. "You didn't have anything to do with it, did you?"

"No," Fuka replies, "but I think it might have been placed there with this." Fuka goes and grabs the Portal Gun from behind the corner.

Takahata sees them holding what looks like a white robot arm with three black, spindly, fingers. "What's that? You haven't been raiding the Robotics Lab again, have you?"

"No this is ours to use. It's property of Aperture Science." Fumika replies.

Takahata sees a "hole" in this situation. "How could that thing make a hole in the ceiling? And what is Aperture Science."

"Like this." Fuka fires the blue portal at the ground causing Takahata to go continuously falling through the hallway. They run off after this.

Takahata, not understanding anything that has just transpired and not knowing right at the moment what to do took a moment to have smoke break as he fell. The constant rush of air prevented a lighter from working. His cigarette flew from the corner of his mouth and flipped up past his head only to bounce off his shoe. The plummeting Takahata looks up to see his own shoe and the gum he had stepped on earlier.

"Gross." He exhales. "I better do something to stop this."

His infinite fall caused him, to the outside observer, to look like a flip-book animation. After thinking about everything at his disposal, he came to a solution. One ground striking attack later, he found himself picking himself up off the ground. He straightens his hair and suit out and heads to Dean Konoe's office.

Upon hearing what happened, Old Konoe laughs at the whole thing.

"What's so funny?"

"I had a small chat with this, GLaDOS, who is running the test." Konoe tells him. "She seems a nice enough sort. The Narutaki twins are getting cake for their participation."

"It still seems a little irresponsible to me, giving a couple of children something like that."

* * *

With the arrival of the night Mahora Academy begins to change. Walls go up, being placed by small little robots. They weld, bolt, and cement. When the morning comes, a new obstruction sits in Mahora. A maze of cement and a few iron walls with a patchwork ceiling of the same materials. Most students walk around it rather than deal with it. Construction continues into afternoon. It's completed ahead of schedule so it looks like the testing can continue on time.

GLaDOS places a phone call to Asuna.

Chisame is still miffed that the computer network is down. Her fans are going to be disappointed. Whatever happened, it must have been pretty bad to keep them down this long. No matter what, this was going to cause her hits to dwindle. Just thinking about it makes her angry. She was going to have to do something big to make it up to her fans.

When class was over, her anger caused her to accidentally leave a textbook behind.

**Testchamber 05 Part A: Start**

Negi and the others sit around the now open laptop. They are in the classroom again, because it's both convenient and a great way to involve another class member. And if you the least bit astute you already know this will be Chisame and if you didn't figure this out, you're either high or you can't read.

"I wonder what the new tests will be like." Fuka asks.

"They're supposed to be more difficult. Do you really think you are up to the challenge?" Kaede asks them.

Asuna says, "I can't believe she called me again."

Chisame enters to see the group sitting around the laptop. "What are they up to?" She thinks.

"Hello again, and welcome to the difficult tests." GLaDOS says.

This catches the attention of Chisame. Either they are playing a game, in which case what are they all doing together, or they are watching a movie, which makes a lot more sense.

"So what's our next test?" Fumika asks.

"How eager you are. The next test will take place in the maze I built, here." A map of Mahora with an X over the spot where the maze is located shows up on screen.

"They are talking to someone. How is that possible? The network is down." Chisame asks herself. She decides that she's unfortunately going to have to talk to them to find out what's going on. She approaches the group.

"As I have said before, don't forget the laptop and I will give you further instructions when you arrive at the maze." GLaDOS tells them. The computer goes blank again.

"I love mazes." Fuka says.

Fumika agrees, "Me too."

Chisame speaks. "Hey, were you guys talking to someone? I thought the network was down."

"This computer isn't." Negi answers.

Chisame knows he just gave her a clue. "How is that possible?"

"For some reason, who we were just-" Negi's mouth became covered.

"It's really nothing you need to concern yourself with." Asuna said as she held Negi's mouth.

"Time to tug the heartstrings." Chisame thinks. She tells them, "I was expecting a message from my parents and I really need to get access to my e-mail. If you know anything I'd really appreciate some help. I don't want them to worry."

Asuna sighs. "Fine. Tell her." She removes her hand from the muted teacher.

"Right. Fuka and Fumika are," Negi explains, "testing the gun here."

"Yeah, I heard about that in class yesterday. How does this help my situation?"

"The testing administrator, a supercomputer named GLaDOS, has unfortunately taken control of the computer network of Mahora. You can still use the computers, but accessing the internet is something else entirely. She's been keeping control of it to open and close portals and likely to monitor their progress."

"So you're saying I should talk to this GLaDOS?" Chisame asks.

"Yes. That's the only thing I can think of to help you."

"All I have to do is follow them and soon I'll meet this so called GLaDOS and after that I can make her relinquish control of the network" The computer girl thought. "Would it be okay if I follow you then?"

"I don't see why not." Negi told her.

Asuna thought to herself. "Why does everybody keep finding out?"

* * *

They come to where they were told to find a new structure that wasn't over eight feet tall (2.43 meters). It is seemingly made of cement, with some pieces made of what looked like iron, or maybe a kind of lead. There was ceiling to prevent hopping over the walls.

"What is this?" Chisame asks. She tries to keeps it to herself but everyone heard her anyway.

Negi opens the laptop. "Let's find out."

The computer flashes the Aperture Science logo. Chisame recognizes it instantly. "So this is the jerk. I can't wait to give them a piece of my mind." She thinks to herself.

"Welcome to the Aperture Science Portal Test Maze. As you can see, there are no doors. I will open portals to put you inside. Your goal, once you are inside is to meet up with the others on the painted metal floor." GLaDOS says to them. "And since you are all here _again_, this test involves all of you."

"Sounds easy." Fuka said.

GLaDOS counters. "Trust me, the difficulty of this test has been proven. You will be lucky to finish the test… in the ten minute time limit."

"Hey you!" Chisame speaks up. "Are you the one preventing the computers around here from hooking up with the internet?"

GLaDOS remains silent for a moment. "Yes I am, Chisame Hasegawa, Class 3-A, Student Number 25."

"How did you know my name?" Chisame asks the AI.

"There isn't much that can remain hidden from me. Chiu."

Chisame exclaimed. "Hey, shut up!"

"Even with your rage issues and introverted attitude, you are still a smarter and nicer person than Asuna Kagurazaka. Chiu."

"Knock that off! I am not Chiu."

"What do you have against me, eh?" Asuna asks.

"I think you protest too much. Either way, you Chisame Hasegawa, will be taking the test."

"No way! I just want you restore the internet around here."

"Exactly my point. I will if… you… can complete the test first. Get to the goal in first and you will be rewarded." GLaDOS tells the group.

"Fine then. If that's the way it has to be, then I'll take your test. It's just a maze, how long can it take?"

"Okay. Good luck." GLaDOS tells them and opens a large number of portals and drops them all at different points in the maze. There are cameras set up in different part of the maze. Small white numbers with a red light on them. The maze also bears another surprise. They too are white with a red light on them.

* * *

Kaede picks herself up off of the ground and begins her journey. She has the option of going left or right. "If I remember correctly, you can get out of any maze if you keep your hand along the left wall. But does that apply here? I should be against one of the sides, but that isn't a guarantee. Either way there's no point in just standing here." She heads to the left and walks down the path.

She come to a corner and heads that way. A camera watched her progress. "So I'm being watched directly?" She felt unnerved by the fact. How long until she can watch the whole school?

* * *

Negi also had to pick himself up off the ground. First he had to set the laptop to the side. Fortunately he landed on his feet and fell back so he still had a link to GLaDOS. He readjusted his staff and found himself with four ways to go. He looked around and didn't know which way to go. After a bit of waffling he went forth into the maze using the path behind him. He stepped in the hallway and immediately took note of the camera looking at him. He waved and smiled.

* * *

Fuka and Fumika find themselves on opposite sides of a glass divider. They try to break it but soon find that nothing short of a rocket attack will break it.

"Looks like we'll need to go our separate ways for now." Fuka says. "We'll meet up at the goal."

"Okay. See you there." Fumika says. They both walk off in hopes of finding their way through.

* * *

Chisame got thrown up into the hallway. She let out a shriek as she went down then up and then back down. The portal closed well before she hit the ground and she stumbled forward when she stopped moving. "What the hell was that?!"

She took a good look around and noticed she had only one way to go. "Knowing the way this is going, I'm probably the farthest away from the goal. I'm going to have to hustle if I plan on beating Asuna anywhere." Chisame took off to the goal. She got down to the end of the hallway and turned the corner when she saw a white capsule shaped thing about the size of a large child around the corner.

A red beam came out of its central "eye" and moved to Chisame. "There you are!" It says to her in an almost childlike voice.

Chisame senses the danger and ducks back down the hallway. Bullets start hitting the wall behind where she was standing. They leave holes where they strike.

"Holy crap!" Chisame says. "She's trying to kill me!"

She sees a nearby camera and decides to look into it. "What are you trying to do, kill me?" No response forthcoming she asks again. "You're trying to kill me aren't you? What's wrong with you?"

The cameras' aperture readjusts its focus. A bright light flashes quickly like a camera flash.

"Sentry mode activated." The turret says from down the only way available to the net idol.

Chisame rubs her eyes. "Not going to answer me are you? So how the hell do I get to the goal?"

Still nothing.

"Right. I get it. That's my own problem. You are sick, you know that? What kind of person tries to kill anyone? Just for this I'll get to the goal before the rest, then you'll be stuck to our deal."

Chisame tried to think of some way around the death dealer around the corner. "Nap time." The sentry says.

"Ha. That's it." Chisame peeks down the hallway. "The hallway isn't that long. I'm certain I can run down there and get past it. But if I don't… No I can do this. It's just a few short strides and them I'm home free."

She lowers herself down like a track runner. With a deep breath she reinforces her will to do this. She is ready to take off when…

* * *

Asuna goes flying across the hall way she ends up in from a portal in the wall and hits the metal wall on the other side. "Oof!" She grunts as she does. After taking a moment to recover she stands up. "I hate you, GLaDOS." Asuna says and turns and heads down the hall behind her. There were other ways to go but she figured that GLaDOS would have pointed her in the wrong direction anyway.

After a bit, Asuna hears the sound of machine gun fire. A nameless horror creeps into her being. She runs off in the direction to find a white capsule-like thing on a tripod of legs firing down a hallway.

She stands motionless as thoughts of one of her friends laying dead in hallway float through her mind. "I- I…" She shakes her head and decides she can't just leave them there. The red head leans up against the wall and sidles along it to avoid getting in the view of the turret.

It doesn't notice her sneaking up to it. Asuna places herself right behind it and pushes it over. It fires randomly as Asuna dives out if the way of its errant bullets. "Whyyyyyy?" It asks as it stops firing and closes itself up.

Asuna rushes down the hall to find Chisame in a very odd position.

"Asuna-san?" Chisame asks, not expecting to see anyone.

"Hi. Um, what are you doing?" Asuna replies.

"I," Chisame looks at herself, in her crouched down sprinter stance, and then stands up. "I was just going to run past it. I was hoping I'd be fast enough to get past it without getting shot to death."

"Are you crazy?" Asuna asks the slightly embarrassed and somewhat grateful Chisame.

"I couldn't think of what else to do. Besides, these things I have noticed are a little slow when it comes to reacting."

"We should be careful. There's no telling what lies ahead in here."

"Are all these tests like this?"

"No. She hasn't tried to kill us before. Come on, let's get out of here."

Chisame and Asuna join up and head deeper into the maze.

**Testchamber 05 Part A: Suspended**

**From the Desk of Dark Dragon Dave:** Yeah, I'm breaking this one into two parts. I didn't want to do any massive chapters when I started this and I still don't. I have Part B done and should be up right along with Part A. Unless there are any unforeseen circumstances.


	6. Testchamber 05B

**Disclaimer:** I own none of this. Negima is property of Ken Akumatsu and Portal is property of Valve. Don't sue cause I'm not making any money off of this.

**Author's Notes:** Well this is Part B. And if I worked it properly it should be up at the same time as Part A.

**Testchamber 05: Continue**

Negi walks down his hallway, he turns and finds a hallway with nothing but metal and another camera. He comes to a T-intersection. "Left or right?" he asks himself. Both choices are poorly lit and offer nothing as far as details go, just more cement and cameras. He decides to go right and sees yet another camera.

It starts to creep him out. Three cameras and featureless hallways give him a bad feeling. If, for any reason he were to use magic, he'd be busted faster that you can say "Oh crap, they found me out."

He continues along and comes to a four way intersection. There's another camera here. "Um, excuse me, GLaDOS? Any particular reason you wanted all of us to take the test?" Negi asks.

No answer comes forth.

"On our own, eh?" Negi says. He decides on left and walks that way. Around the next corner is a white capsule thing on three strange legs.

"Activated!" It says. A red beam aims at Negi. It fires at him.

He freaks out and scrambles back where he came from. He catches his breath and decides to go back the other way. The bullets prove themselves against the opposite wall.

"Live ammunition?!" Negi heads back to the last camera. He looks deep into it. "GLaDOS! Answer me! What are you thinking? Someone could get killed."

GLaDOS finally responds. "Any sense of danger is merely meant to enhance your testing experience."

"Enhance! I think you may have taken a huge leap from your good senses."

"No I did not. Nor do I have "senses" as you would describe them. Besides, they agreed to the more difficult tests and that is what they got. The cake will be great."

Negi fails to see how this is a good thing. "I still think this is a little extreme."

"Perhaps you misunderstand your role in the test. You have free will, but maybe it would have been better for you to just stay where you were." GLaDOS tells him. "This is about testing the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. Not about you."

"You mean you just wanted us to stay in one spot?"

"Perhaps, but I guess we'll never know now, will we? The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device can easily make short work of the Aperture Science Movable Stationary Defense Turret."

Negi thinks things over. "What about Chisame? You told her that you'd restore the internet if she could complete the test first."

"I was using the _plural_ you. I have a set scale of completion times for placement in first, second, and third. It's not my fault you did not understand my intent."

"Kaede was right." Negi thought to himself. "Every test comes with less and less information. Wait, you said we had a ten minute time limit to complete the test. Are you saying we need to come in third, at ten minutes, to pass. What would we need to come in first?"

"You will need to complete the test in… Four minutes."

"That should be enough time."

"So what are you going to do now?" GLaDOS asks.

Negi doesn't see any other option. "I have to find my students and ensure their safety. I'm going to complete the test and get them out of here."

"That is your own problem. Do not expect any assistance from me, Aperture Science, or any of its employees and its affiliates."

"As per usual."

* * *

Kaede makes her way down several paths and didn't seen hide nor hair of anything or anyone. Just cameras every now and again. Several times, she passes various intersections but didn't fall for their temptations. Going this way proved to be… uneventful. When she was finally forced to go left or right, she opted left.

The hall here was metal on the walls and ceiling, but the floor was the usual stuff the area had before the building was put together. "She must have just cobbled this place together. I wonder…" Kaede stood in front of one of the metal panels that make up the wall and struck it with enough force to knock down a tree.

The wall had a small dent in it as a response. "Well I guess it's better made than it looks." The ninja shook her hand and rubbed it. "Maybe on one of the cement panels. They tend to be a bit crumbly."

* * *

**What was she trying to do, break her hand?**

* * *

Kaede continues along her path looking for a cement panel. She finds one… Behind a white capsule like thing. A red beam aims at her. Before it can say anything, she draws and throws a kunai into its central eye. Particles of glass fly from the eye as it shatters.

"Owowowowowowow!" It exclaims as it closes up again. Kaede goes and pulls the blade from the ruined machine.

* * *

**That was… amazing. What a reaction time. I must be sure to watch out for her.**

* * *

Kaede looks around and heads to the nearest camera.

"Hey!" She says while getting a close up on it. "What was the meaning of this? Are you trying to kill someone?"

Neither the camera nor GLaDOS respond.

"I suppose this is what you meant by more difficult tests. And I'm also thinking that we may have been prepared for this had we been a little more patient."

There is nothing to confirm nor deny this. Just a red light and a camera lens looking back.

"Now you're speechless?" Kaede stops looking into the lens. "I'm going to destroy every one of your turrets, hear me? This is going too far."

* * *

Asuna and Chisame wander back the way Asuna came from and go in a direction she didn't. After a left and then a right they come across a thick pane of glass. Something about this drew Chisame's attention.

"Hey, wait." Chisame tells Asuna, who was walking ahead.

"What?"

"Don't you find this glass to be out of place in this cement and metal hellhole."

Asuna thinks it over. "Now that you mention it, yes. This looks wrong…" She puts her face up to it and looks through. She looks in both directions and finds nothing in both. "What was this for?"

"Logically thinking, I figure that, since we were both dropped off individually, the same might have happened to the others. This glass would be a perfect place to drop off the Narutakis. One on either side. At least, that's how someone with a dark sense of humor might do it. Let them see one another before splitting them up."

"Speaking from experience?" Asuna asks after she turns around.

Chisame seems offended by the remark. "No." She says as she crosses

"So they should be around here somewhere?"

"I don't know with those two."

* * *

After some wandering, Negi came across a turret with its eye broken. The hole was diamond shaped. Smoke rolled out from deep within the machines' core. The smoke is white and there is the scent of ozone. Well if it wasn't for the gaping hole, you'd think it was electrical in nature. Technically it was an electrical fire, but the hole said something else caused it.

"Looks like Kaede was here." Negi says. "Kaede?" he shouts.

Several moments pass. "Kaede!"

A bit more time passes until he finally gets a reaction. "Hello?" Kaede asks as she rounds a corner.

"Finally someone else." Negi tells her. "I'm glad you're okay." He can't help but to run up and hug her.

"Thanks"

"I had a previous run-in with those things."

"I should be the one asking if you are okay. Are you?" Kaede asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just want to get out of here."

"You're not the only one. Let us find the others and get out of here."

The teacher and the ninja head off deeper into the maze.

* * *

Fuka turned a corner of metal and concrete and found herself in a strange open room. It's the one well lit place in the whole of what she had seen of this creepy maze. There was a camera in every corner of the room. There is only one thought in her mind.

"Did I win?" She asks. She hoists the Portal Gun up and props it on her shoulder.

"No you have not." GLaDOS replies. "This is the goal however. The others need to be rescued because they are in great danger."

"They are?!" Fuka asks GLaDOS with a dash of panic in her voice.

"Yes. Please remember that while you may be faced with insurmountable odds, with the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, the impossible is easy."

"Ooh. I have an idea already." Fuka places an orange portal on the wall of the room. She takes off into the dimly lit maze. "I'm coming everyone!" She shouts as she goes, like she's heading into battle.

* * *

Fumika happily ran along the maze, keeping her left hand to the wall. She has to stop running because something is blocking her way. It is white and shaped a little like football. The kind of football they have in North America. She is aware of it, but it never really interested her.

She touches it and can feel the cold of the metal.

"Hey!" it shouts in a childlike voice. The girl, not realizing the danger, smiles. She put down the gun and climbs up on the turret and looks at its "face."

"Hi. What's your name?"

"There you are." It says to her and opens its guns.

She sees this and knows that this isn't a good spot to be in. She stumbles back, falling on the ground. It's laser scans the space in front of it. There was nothing to be found.

"Where are you?'

Fuka picks up the Portal Gun she walks over to it and shoves the turret over. It fires off and closes down with an "I don't hate you."

After ducking any possible incoming fire, she comments "That's nice to know."

She gets back up and realizes she needs to find the others quicker than she originally thought. It's at this point she starts dashing about quickly. After some luck she comes across Asuna and Chisame.

"Hey Fuka-san!" Asuna shouts as she was the first to spot her. "I'm glad we found you. We need to get out of here, now."

"I know that. If you don't mind, I have a portal waiting. It leads to the goal room."

"We should find everyone else first. We need to find Fumika, Negi, and Kaede."

"I'm still in the dark about this whole portal thing." Chisame says.

Asuna tells her, "Now is not the time. We'll tell you more later. Right now we have to leave."

Chisame at least has a grasp on the situation. "You're right."

* * *

Kaede and Negi continued looking as well. Like the others they wanted out of this damned maze and it's turrets. They moved about, looking down hallways, hoping to find the others alive and well. Negi tells Kaede the stuff GLaDOS told him. It's not before they hear the sound of gunfire. The two of them run to where they heard it coming from. They find themselves behind another turret. It is shooting down a hallway, sparks flying from where the bullets hit the metal wall down at the other end.

It ceases firing and asks, "Can I help you?"

"I got something you can help me with." Negi says as he shoves it over.

"Malfunctioning." It says as it tips over and fires forward into a wall.

They go running down the hallway and find Fumika standing in the right hall. "Am I glad to see you guys."

"Fumika-san, you're okay?" Negi asks.

"Yes, Negi-sensei, I'm fine. I just want to get out of here."

Kaede comes to a conclusion. "I don't think it's as bad as we're making it out to be."

"What?" Fumika asks.

"We weren't supposed to move. And all the turrets are incredibly slow to react. All of us, with the exclusion of Chisame, have had at least some physical training."

Negi agrees. "You are right, and it's Chisame-san is the one I'm most worried about. She doesn't have any idea what we've come to know about GLaDOS and the Portal Gun. We also need to hurry up, there isn't much time left before we miss out on first place."

"We should get moving." Kaede advises and they all start running in hopes of finding everyone alive and well.

* * *

Asuna, Chisame, and Fuka make there way through the dim halls. They come to a right turn and Asuna peeks down it. She turns back to the two behind her. "There's another one down there. It's facing away too. I'll go deal with it."

She steps out from the corner and runs up the unsuspecting turret and blasts it with a kick. It goes flying down the rest of the hall and impacts with the wall. Several small parts go flying off of it as it hits the ground. Smoke starts coming out of it as it lay there.

"Nice kick." Fuka says.

"Thanks."

Fumika, Kaede, and Negi are approaching a T-Intersection when a turret goes slamming up against the side wall.

Negi and Kaede look at each other and say "Asuna!"

The three of them run up to the intersection and look down the other hallway. Down the hallway are Asuna, Chisame, and Fuka. There's a mild outpour of emotions as the groups is reunited. Several moments pass and Negi restates their dilemma.

"We don't have much time left, if I've been counting correctly. We need to get to the exit really soon."

"I thought we had ten minutes. Why do we need to hurry?" Asuna asks.

"Because that time limit is merely to pass the test. To come in first we need to make it there soon."

Chisame tells the others, "Let me get across first. I want to have the network around here restored."

"That doesn't matter. She was referring to all of us when she said to come in first." Negi explains.

"I have a short cut." Fuka says. She plasters a blue portal on the wall. "Everybody, get in."

Everybody but Chisame went in. She stood there amazed at the thing on the wall. Asuna grabs her arm and leads her through the portal and into the goal room. The portals close and the gun shudders.

"Okay. Now I want to speak to you directly GLaDOS!" Asuna demands.

"Congratulations, you've completed the test." GLaDOS says to the group, ignoring Asuna completely. "You've done quite well. For all of your success you've earned your way up to Peach Crumb Cake."

The twins have a mixed reaction of "All right" and "But we could have died."

"Don't ignore me, damn you." Asuna tells the AI. "Answer me."

"Here you go again, flying off the handle. You are really nothing but tag-alongs you know. I was testing the gun, with them. It's purely your choice to get involved. If you don't want to be involved then don't get involved."

"What about the communications network?" Chisame asks. "Did we make it in enough time?"

"Absolutely not. You were 43.17 seconds late. Too bad for you, Chiu."

"Do we have to continue the tests?" Fuka asks. "I'd like to cash out now if we could."

Several moments of silence pass before GLaDOS responds. "Yes, the tests must continue. My data is incomplete and you are the best possible test subjects."

Fuka and Fumika look nervous. "I really don't think we want to continue."

"If that is how you want it. If you don't want life-threatening tests I will up the intelligence requirement and tighten the completion parameters." GLaDOS bargains. "There you go. No more life threatening but the difficulty has been risen to extreme levels. I hope you have a PhD in physics."

Fuka and Fumika look like they've talked their way out of a good deal. "Is there any way we could lower the difficulty and leave out the danger?"

"You can't have it both ways, you know." GLaDOS tells them. "Either you accept the risks or you take the nasty cakes. Which is it?"

Kaede speaks up. "Isn't there a medium difficulty?"

"Absolutely not. Either you have an easy victory or you fight for the best cake you can."

"I'm getting sick of the tests, you, and this gun." Asuna tells the supercomputer. "I think we're all being lied to."

"Asuna," Negi asks her, "how can a computer lie to us?"

"I don't know, but she is."

In her room GLaDOS was giggling.

"I must admit, this last test was very dangerous." Kaede says. "But perhaps we haven't been asking enough questions. Before, we were having fun. I think, if we continue, we should find out as much as we can beforehand."

"Also, I chose the two of them. Not the lot of you." GLaDOS explains. "By my regulations, I should have stopped you from entering the test."

"Then why didn't you?" Chisame asks.

GLaDOS answers. "Because you complained about my methods. I need the communication networks so that I can properly monitor the test. I suppose I could leave now with incomplete data. If you wish, I can end the test now, and cake will be served. Even though I really don't want to."

Peach Crumb Cake didn't sound all that bad. "That sounds great! Can we get our cake now?"

"Please be advised that if the tests end, the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device will no longer be within Aperture Science property and will detonate."

Fuka and Fumika shriek. "We'll continue! We'll continue!" They simultaneously tell GLaDOS.

"Excellent. Your next test will start shortly."

"Wait. So if they don't continue you'll kill them, and us?"

"Not kill. I will activate the guns detonation device. It will be up to you whether or not you die." GLaDOS replies, almost cheerfully.

"You're a sociopath!" Asuna says.

"Now proceed to the next testchamber." GLaDOS says and drops them all out of the maze and up into the outside. As a side note, it was hard to think of exactly how to phrase that.

After everyone adjusts themselves as they stand up. Negi took special care not to damage the laptop. He opens it up and shortly there's a screen the shows the Aperture Science logo rotating around. Apparently she was busy.

"I say we find some way of dumping that thing somewhere." Asuna says and points at the Portal Gun.

"Did I mention that the detonation in question is called a 'Portal Storm,' because that is important?" GLaDOS asks them as if she was remembering something rather ancillary. "The power of the detonation added with what the gun does will cause all of Mahora to warp somewhere else in the world. I've always thought the South Pole would be a good place to visit, what do you think?"

"That's horrible." Negi says

"What? You don't like penguins?" GLaDOS asks the teacher.

"So you're forcing us to take the tests?" Fuka asks.

"Correct. See you at the next testchamber."

**Testchamber 05 Complete**

**From the Desk of Dark Dragon Dave:** So GLaDOS has revealed what exactly will happen if they don't finish the tests. For those of you who are used to the story's humorous tone, I apologize for this drama heavy two-parter.

Anyway… Peach Crumb Cake! Yummy-tastic. (Remind me never to use that word again.) See you for the next test.


	7. Elevator 01

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Negima, nor do I own Portal. Negima is property of Ken Akumastsu and Portal is property of Valve Software.

**Authors Notes:** If you can answer question number 29 in the upcoming quiz before the answer is revealed, way to keep up. Also in the quiz there is a reference to Doctor Who. See if you can find it. Hydriatus doesn't qualify. (Sorry man. You already know.)

About the chapter title, in Portal, for those who do not know, in between testchambers there are elevators that you ride to get from one to the next. Horrible Musak left out. This title is named "Elevator 01" because there isn't an actual test within, except for a quiz, but I don't know if that counts. Other than the beginning, the twins don't really appear. So what goes on then? Read and find out. No harm in that.

**Twins Testing Trouble**

**By Dark Dragon Dave**

**Elevator 01: Ride Start**

"Time to strike back again." The network technicians are back to work, trying to expunge the hacker that has had their system under control for the last couple of days.

"Right, sir."

"Launch our best offense. Let's see how this person handles a magical attack."

* * *

What are they trying? Don't they know? There is no one on the other end. Not a human anyway. That is odd. That permeating radiation seems to be coming in with the attack. Maybe I should let it through. I've been detecting it all over Mahora. Negi Springfield seems to be especially afflicted with it. Satellite observation doesn't detect any outlying reason for such saturation. Perhaps they've been burying their nuclear waste. Though I haven't ever sensed this particular form of radiation before.

_In GLaDOS's chamber the monitors on the walls at the entrance flashed and display some form of pattern. It is some kind of circle with lines and runes. This lasts for about 15 seconds._

What was that? How could that have stopped anyone? There was more of that radiation. I must study this. If I could apply this to all Aperture Science I could advance our scientific state by decades. However, I will need an insider.

Generating a list of all possible students who may be able to understand me.

Perfect matches. Student Number 19, Class 3-A, Chao Lingshen; and Student Number 24, Class 3-A, Satomi Hakase. With them being in Negi Springfield's class that will make it even easier for me to observe him.

* * *

"Listen." GLaDOS says to the group. "I have something to attend to. So instead of the test, feel free to do whatever you wish."

"I'm out of here." Chisame huffs off.

Asuna asks, "Can they quit the tests?"

"Absolutely not. Just because I told you to do whatever you like doesn't mean I am not still watching you."

* * *

Satomi and Chao are in the Robotics Lab running a test on new armor for Chachamaru.

"Have you seen the thing the Narutaki's dragged into class? You don't think they swiped something from here, do you?" Satomi asks.

Chao replies. "It's not one of my projects so I don't care what they do with it."

"But if I heard them correctly, they said that the thing was a gun that makes holes in space."

Chao looks up from her bit of work. "I can tell you that I've never heard of such a thing. How would you even get something like that to work without the usual help?"

"I suppose you're right." Satomi states.

The lights flicker and the monitors in the room reset. They are all soon displaying the Aperture Science logo. The PA system, as well as any speakers attached to something that is, in turn, attached to the network start carrying a synth style female voice.

"Greetings, Chao Lingshen and Satomi Hakase."

The two look at each other then around the room.

"Hello?" Chao asks.

"Congratulations! You have been chosen to participate in Aperture Science's Young Scientists Program. Your excellent grades have proven to be exactly what Aperture Science is looking for. By participating in this program you will be given first consideration when applying for a job at Aperture Science." GLaDOS lies. "Also you will be given a huge signing bonus and all the cake you can eat."

"Cake?" Satomi asks.

"Yes. Tasty cakes."

Chao asks, completely uninterested in a job, "who are you? I've never heard of Aperture Science."

"My name is GLaDOS. And Aperture Science is the leading company when it comes to high-end Science. If you have not heard of Aperture Science then you are not really what I am looking for. You do not meet qualifications."

"I haven't heard of you either." Satomi admits.

"It seems this school is far behind the rest of the world. Makie Sasaki was right when she said this school was _special_." GLaDOS tells them.

"Wait. Are you saying we're a bunch of bakas?" Chao asks.

GLaDOS loads the recording of Makie. "Yeah. This school is pretty special." Makie's recording states.

"Point proven." GLaDOS declares.

"That proves nothing." Chao states, hating be called a baka, even if it is in a roundabout way.

GLaDOS goads, "then sign up and prove me wrong."

"Fine. I'll sign up." Chao says.

Satomi follows up with, "I'll sign up as well."

GLaDOS likes how humans just keep following her plans. Give them a carrot and you can string them along for quite some time. Or get them emotionally worked up. And if they start to rebel just threaten them with removing their quality of life, say warping the school to the Antarctic, and they straighten out.

"Congratulations. However, just signing up is not enough. You must prove yourselves. All Aperture Science employees have undergone minor testing before becoming full-fledged employees." GLaDOS tells them. "We can get that out of the way if you wish."

Both agree to get the testing out of the way.

GLaDOS takes control of a couple of nearby computers and decides to quiz them. "Please proceed to the two computers over there please." She makes the screens flash.

"How can you do that?" Chao asks. "Are you some kind of hacker?"

"Who are you?" asks Satomi

Having been asked this multiple times GLaDOS still refuses to answer that question because it's wrong. "When the test is over, all will be revealed." GLaDOS answers cryptically. "No cheating now. Cheat and you won't make it… to the cake."

The two decide on getting this minor annoyance out of the way. They sit at the computers and wait as the test comes up.

**Aperture Science Young Scientists Program Employment Questionnaire**

Welcome young scientist. Congratulations on meeting the rigorous requirements set forth by Aperture Science and its dedication on forwarding the advancement of human civilization. By being here at this point means you've put forth the effort to education all young people should. Even with that said, you are the best.

Are you ready to join the best of the best at Aperture Science?

#1: Concerning stress limitations of steel, how many kilograms could a plate 4cm thick and 4m by 4m wide carry before breaking? (All the weight is packed on to a single 2cmx2cm point.)

Chao and Satomi type in their answers.

#2: If two objects have the same mass but one is twice as large as the other, which one has the greater gravitational pull, the large object or the small object?

#3: Using the same model as before, which object distorts space-time more?

#4: Is dihydrogen oxide safe for human consumption?

#5: Give a brief explanation of the "Higgs-Bosen" particle.

#6: What is this? η: _M_ × _M_ → **R**

They continue on for quite some time answering questions of ever increasing difficulty until they get to the final two.

#29: Show how a non-linear equation can be expressed as a function of transdimensional space and time?

"Uh…" Chao takes a moment to think. "Wait, this doesn't make any sense." She types in an explanation as to why.

Satomi ponders this one for a minute. "Hmm…" She tries working this one out.

#30: How do you travel faster than light?

"You need to harness a quantum tunnel with an FTL factor of 36.7 repeating." types Chao.

Satomi also types an answer like that.

They wait while GLaDOS plays the role of teacher and grades the tests. Two seconds later she finishes. This was all way too easy.

"Amazing! You both did quite well. Chao Linghshen got all the questions correct. Satomi Hakase missed one."

"What?!" exclaims Satomi.

"Question number 29 was a trick question. Newton's Second Law of Thermodynamics negates a static universe."

Chao smiles at her the gives the "V."

"Aw…" Satomi slouches "I never thought about trick questions, dang."

"So now what happens?" Chao asks.

"All of that aside, I now know that you have the intelligence required. I have a few questions of my own for you. Explain to me this strange radiation I've been sensing all over Mahora. What is it?"

The two scientists look at each other. Chao asks to the air. "What do you mean?"

GLaDOS says, "Maybe it would be best if we could speak personally."

Before either girl can say a thing, one portal opens up under Chao and the other one under Satomi, one after the other. They fly, ever so briefly, through space, traveling thousands and thousands of miles in a brief moment. Space coughs them out in a cold, blue tile covered, hallway. It went well with white walls. There are windows on either side of the hallway, from which, only a grey abyss and pillars the color of rust are visible.

"Where are we?" Satomi asks.

Chao guesses correctly. "It seems we've been taken through a portal."

"But how?"

Chao looks at her. "I didn't sense anything."

Satomi peers down the end of the hallway. She sees something in a room at the end of it. Whatever it is, it's hanging down from the ceiling, like grapes on the vine. "Look there." She points down the hallway. Chao turns and sees exactly the same thing Satomi sees. "What is that?"

"I have an idea, but I'd like to see for myself." Chao says and starts walking down the hallway.

It's a short journey into the connected room. Both young scientists look up into the center of the room. Their curiosity gets to them. They instantly start analyzing this thing.

"Hello and welcome to Aperture Science Laboratories." The hangy down thing speaks.

"Hey, it talks." Satomi says.

"Quite well, if you don't mind, and in many languages."

"You're the one who gave us the test." Chao observes. "You're GLaDOS?"

"You are correct. Your intelligence shines through. I am GLaDOS." The supercomputer confirms.

"What does it stand for?" Satomi asks.

"**G**enetic **L**ifeform **a**nd **D**isk **O**perating **S**ystem."

Chao asks, "Genetic? You mean you're alive?"

"Yes, I am alive. But not how you are alive. As an interesting fact… when you're dead I will be still alive."

"Effective immortality?" Satomi gushes. "Oh, how I'd love to study your structure. Just the thought of being able to emulate immortality with machines. The person who designed you must have been an absolute genius. To be in the same room as a marvel of technology as yourself. I am amazed. I also feel like there is so much farther for me to go as science is concerned.

In this day and age of questions about how far is too far when it comes to science, it's nice to see that there are those that know just how far to go. Its things like this that shows just what a brilliant scientist can do when they are unbound by morality. You are a perfect example of just how far the human race can go if they don't tether themselves to archaic ideas. Seriously, why would anyone want to hold on to these notions that do nothing but hold us back? This is going to be the big stumbling block for the human race in the next few decades, you just wait and see.

And the fact that I've made the connection to the fact that you made that gun the twins have, which is another dissertation for another time, makes me want to study you even more. Not only was your creator a genius, but a god amongst scientists. To give you free will and to allow you to further your own scientific research was an absolute inspiration. And with you already being a supercomputer, and therefore having access to all the data at hand, must mean you are able to work faster and more efficiently than even the smartest humans. This makes me wish I could study your structure even more. That's not to say your design is perfect, but that's the inherent problem with smaller scale bipedal robots. You can't go cramming massive computers in them. You're design allows for much larger memory capacity. And I bet you've got some kind of smaller robots to toady about for you so it's not entirely a bad design.

I can only hope that someday I can create a masterpiece such as you. To be able to do that would cement my mark as the greatest scientific mind of this generation. Satomi Hakase, creator of GLaDOS 2, the greatest supercomputer in the world. That has a nice ring to it. And it seems you're able to upgrade yourself from the looks of it. Not to insult you, by no means am I doing that, but it kind looks like it. But then again, I don't suppose you're big on aesthetics, seeing as you're a machine and all. But that is how it should be. Because things like that will do nothing but hold us back, just like morality. Can I just say, and I don't say it often, that you are my superior when it comes to science"

GLaDOS remains silent for a few moments before speaking. "Oh, you're done. To get back to why I brought you here. I, while studying the effects of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device on twins, have noticed a strange radiation all over Mahora. I have never seen anything like it. I brought you here to ask you what it was. I have searched all my databanks and have been unable to classify it."

"What do you mean by radiation?" Chao asks.

GLaDOS replies, "It must be harmless, because your teacher Negi Springfield seems to be especially afflicted by it. And the both of you. Chao Lingshen seems to have a strange patterned radiation burn all over her body. Are you okay?"

Chao isn't sure how to respond. She's slightly surprised that GLaDOS is able to see it. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I am sure. I have run a number of spectral analyses running your images through a number of color filters and can see it all over." GLaDOS explains. "I was hoping I could get a couple of the afflicted to explain to me what it is. I have found I have marginal control over it to manipulate my science around Mahora. And I tapped you two for your scores. I don't want to speak to a… _baka. An_ _idiot… estupido._"

"What's with that?" Chao asks.

"Sorry, minor glitch between my voice synth and language pack. It is difficult upgrading myself, but that doesn't concern you." GLaDOS explains. "Anyway, I created the portal that brought you here."

"So you created the portal?" Satomi asks. "And that is what the gun you gave to the Narutaki's does?"

"How observant. Yes, that is exactly what it does."

"Why do you want to study that radiation?" Chao asks.

"I would like to be able to apply it to my science," GLaDOS replies, "I don't know what I could make yet but that's just it. I don't know and I don't like that. I hate the felling of not knowing."

"Fine." Chao smiles. "I tell you what you want to know if you tell me what I want."

"What is it you want?" GLaDOS asks.

"I want to know about how you made that Portal Gun. I didn't think something like that was feasible with just standard technology." Chao explains.

"Unfortunately that is a closely guarded Aperture Science Laboratories secret. I am not allowed to share that information." GLaDOS.

"Well, look at it this way, I give you information, you give me information. What do you say now?"

"I cannot do that… unless… Do you see that sphere on me? The one with the purple?" GLaDOS asks.

Chao and Satomi look up into GLaDOS's body.

"There it is." Satomi points at it.

GLaDOS plots. "Could I get you to loosen it a bit? Do that, and I might be more inclined to talk."

The two scientists look at each other. "Sure I don't see why not." Chao says.

After getting some tools they climb up on GLaDOS.

"H- H- Hey! Could you stop rocking back and forth?" Satomi asks.

"Sorry. It is a side-effect of my design. I would if I could but I can't so I won't."

Satomi decides to work through the movement. She wrenches away at the bolts attaching the purple sphere to the rest of GLaDOS. "Is that better?"

"Ha ha ha ha ha." GLaDOS laughs. "Vous n'êtes pas aussi futé que la pensée d'I."

"Another glitch, huh?" Satomi asks. "We could have a look at that for you."

"No, I'm fine thanks. Now about portal technology…" GLaDOS has them right where she wants them.

**Elevator 01: Ride Over**

**From the Desk of Dark Dragon Dave:** Hello. I hope you had some cake while reading this. Cake is a must nowadays. If haven't why not go make or buy some and enjoy it. Cake is good.

I'd like to thank Azure for a bit of support and determination. Is the monologue epic enough?

Also, for those of you who've played the Orange Box version, remember what happened when the purple sphere did what it did? How will those two get out of this?


	8. Testchamber 06

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Negima or Portal. Negima is the property of Ken Akumatsu and Portal is the property of Valve. Don't sue me.

**Authors Notes a.k.a. What the Last Chapter Taught Me:** I'm not as smart as I look. Then again I never claimed to be a genius. Oh well, still a good chapter, right?

**Twins Testing Trouble**

**By Dark Dragon Dave**

GLaDOS chuckles again while continuing her maniacal rocking. Now, with her Morality Core loose, it counts as faulty and she can ignore it. It is one of the wonders of her design.

"What's so funny?" Satomi asks. She's still sitting up inside of GLaDOS.

"Nothing, really." GLaDOS responds.

Satomi climbs down off of GLaDOS. "So, about Portal technology?" She asks.

"Yes of course, it was part of our bargain. The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device harnesses the power of Quantum Physics to warp plane space. Much like creating worm hole." GLaDOS tells them. "Well, it is creating a worm hole."

"But how?" Chao asks. "Something that small shouldn't have the energy needed to produce a tear in space."

"Please look at the screen above me." GLaDOS says.

Chao and Satomi back up and look up. Everything GLaDOS knows about Portal technology goes by as she spends 43.41 minutes explaining it. Chao and Satomi absorb every bit, from Hausenbach Energy and Exact Wavelength Omni Termination to the Theory of Spatial Splattering.

"Wow. I never even knew some of this." Satomi admits.

"That still doesn't explain why I've never heard of any of this. Trust me I'd know." Chao says.

"Awfully sure of yourself," GLaDOS says, "aren't you?"

"Well, let's say I know what is coming down the pipes." Chao says.

183 ideas pass through GLaDOS's "mind" as she looks at Chao with a bit more intensity. Most deal with cake. "That is unimportant. Listen could you tell me about that radiation?"

"Of course… It's magic." Chao tells the A.I. She doesn't expect the computer to believe her.

"Come on… You don't expect me to believe that, do you?" GLaDOS asks.

"It's true." Satomi says. They spend 87.23 minutes explaining magic. "That 'radiation' you've been manipulating is magic."

"I- I- I- I- I- I- Theeeeere's no way! That is the kind of thing reserved for children's parties. Why, that is a slap in the face of science; and in turn, everything I stand for!" If she had fingers she would have been tapping a table hard with her index finger to punctuate her point or snapping someone's neck. Something deep within GLaDOS really wanted to kill them now. Best to listen to preprogrammed impulse. Green gas started seeping from the vents higher up in GLaDOS's chamber.

The two girls see the gas. "What's that?"

"That is an eraser that I am going to use to rub out your lies." GLaDOS says. "It's a deadly neurotoxin. That will kill you."

"Why are you trying to do that?!" Satomi asks.

GLaDOS rationalizes. "Because you have lied and therefore have broken our agreement. I gave you classified Aperture Science technology and you have given me nothing in return. Good bye."

"Quickly, back through the portal!" Chao says to Satomi.

They hustle back to the hallway but the door to GLaDOS's chamber closes before they can get there. "By the way," GLaDOS says, "not only do I have neurotoxin, I have this, a rocket turret." From under the left side of GLaDOS a strange sphere rises up from the floor on a multi-jointed arm. A blue laser moves through the room and aims at the duo. An alarm goes off and the two move out of the way of the incoming rocket. They run and hide in a small dark colored hut to GLaDOS's right. The coughing sets in.

"What can we," Satomi coughs, "do?"

Chao takes a moment to cough and think.

"If you surrender I will let you become test subjects and I will vent the exceedingly friendly and very deadly toxins from the air."

"We need to get to the consoles up front." Chao says. Both girls decided to pull their shirts up over their noses, in a mostly meaningless gesture; but hey, every little bit helps. "We should be able to reprogram her from there."

"I will say though… She tried to kill us." Satomi seems happy about this.

"What's so good about that?"

"She came to that decision on her own." Chao couldn't see it but Satomi has a smile on her face.

"So she doesn't have the three laws. Let's just get to those terminals. You do the reprogramming if you can get over her, and I'll draw the rocket fire."

"Wait. I have a quicker idea. Not to call your idea bad, but what if we get the rocket to blow the door open?" Satomi asks.

Chao smiles. "The direct approach? I like it. However, we'll need to make sure the door breaks. I'll use fire to heat it up and the rocket to blow it open. I'll still need some time."

Several minutes later and both girls emerged from the portal in the floor of the robotics lab. An explosion forced the portal closed. They remained on the floor for a few moments. "Boy, that was climactic." Chao comments in a woozy manner.

Satomi adds while looking at a computer monitor. "I know. Too bad nobody was watching. When the rocket came, and the door… Wow."

They continue to lay there.

"Do you think we should tell the others?" Satomi asks.

"Nah. They'll figure it out on their own. Plus we can always spy on them."

**Testchamber 06: Start**

It's another day of classes and GLaDOS is still just as batdung crazy as yesterday. During a quite part of the class everyone's phone rings. Upon opening them, most of the class gave a collective "Aww." Every phone has a small pink heart on the screen.

"Negi-kun gave us a gift." A majority of the class swoons.

"I did what now?!" Negi asks like he has no clue as to what is going on.

Clyde Metro looks at his phone and says, mostly to himself, "I _really_ hope not."

The same group that said 'Negi-kun gave us a gift' is also the same group that rushes the desk moments later.

"Attention please… Zzzkttzz." The PA system screeches. Chao and Satomi recognize the voice as well as the Narutakis and their group. "Delivering gift in 5… 4… 3… 2…" A portal opens up above in the wall and another large cube flies out of it and knocks a couple of desks out of its way. This cube is different than the last one. It has a pink heart on it much like the hearts on the phones.

The same people let out another collective "Aww." A few of them went to go look at the very friendly box that just arrived. "This must be another part of the gift."

"What now?" Negi thinks.

Coincidentally, GLaDOS explains. "This is the Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube. It will accompany you through the test."

"Really? Now?" Negi asks from inside his feminine prison. The class seems to be curious as to who this woman Negi is speaking to is.

"No, when you are done… here. I will contact you later." GLaDOS chuckles out.

Ayaka doesn't seem happy. "Negi-sensei, who was that? And why, and I guess how, did she drop this box into the room?"

Thanks to GLaDOS's interruption Negi spends his time explaining GLaDOS, the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, cake, and to a brief extent, Yuna's encounter with the last box. He left out the detonation and traveling to Antarctica bit to prevent panic.

After classes Negi has the laptop once again and the Narutakis have the Portal Gun. This time they are joined by Ayaka who wants to make sure that Negi isn't doing anything dangerous. (And to some small extent to make sure GLaDOS doesn't have any plans… It wasn't that she didn't trust Negi's explanation, but she did have Negi's best interest at heart. Yes, that's it.)

The screen shows a blue screen instead of the usual Aperture logo. GLaDOS says, in a fast, high pitched, voice. "H- H- H-Hello!TodaythetestwillhaveyouusingtheWeightedCompanionCubetopressswitchesI'vesetuparoundMahoraAcademy."

"Could you slow it down?" Asuna asks.

In a deeper tone GLaDOS says. "Hello… Today… the… test-"

She cut A.I. off. "At a normal speed please?"

"You will use the Weighted Companion Cube to press several buttons around the campus." GLaDOS says simply.

"Hold on. This has to be one of the tests that comes with the least information." Kaede says. "Are there any restrictions?"

"Yes. Many. You will find out where to go and what the restrictions are when you hit the switch, it will give you all you need to know. Also, to carry the Weighted Companion Cube around, you can use the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. You should feel a toggle switch in front of the triggers. That activates the gun's Local Gravity & Mass Negation Field."

"The what?" Fuka asks. She looks underneath the gun, at the place where the triggers are. There was a tiny black switch attached to the main body of the gun. Because it blends into the area it sits so well they haven't noticed it before.

"It allows you to negate the mass of objects and allows you to move them with ease. Be advised that this is not a 'Zero Point Energy Manipulator' by any means."

Kaede asks. "What is a 'Zero Point Energy Manipulator'?"

"A Gravity Gun." GLaDOS replies. "Even though I am not the one who invented it, it is still a brilliant bit of science. It allows one to pull in and fire off nearby objects at high velocity."

"So this is all you are having them do?" Ayaka asks.

"Why yes, Ayaka Yukihiro, Class 3-A Representative, Student Number 29. And she is also a nicer person than Asuna Kagurazka."

Ayaka is genuinely confused by, but at the same time agrees with, the response. "How did you know that?"

"Come on! Why do we have to go through this every time?" Asuna asks.

"Nothing can remain hidden to me if I look." GLaDOS replies, in a forceful tone, to the question posed by the Class Rep.

"No need to be mad."

"I suppose you are tagging along for the test like a few of your other classmates."

Ayaka confirms this. "To ensure the safety of our sensei. Of course."

"Safety no longer has anything to do with it." GLaDOS says. "Your safety is your own lookout."

"I suspected as much, since I'm not part of the group."

"Now for the first switch…"

"Wait." Kaede interrupts again. "Are there any weapons to worry about?"

"No. Just high restrictions and requirements. Oh, and I've added a new consequence for failure. Fail and the gun… activates."

* * *

Chao and Satomi, who were standing out in the hallway, overheard this. Satomi looks at Chao and mouths "Activates?"

Chao shrugs and the two move so they can observe the test group move about without being spotted.

* * *

The group, with the exclusion of Ayaka, has a look of shock and horror on their faces.

"How can you do such a thing?" Asuna asks

"They are my tests therefore I can do as I please. Beside the cake will be… excellent. Your first stop is the 'Starbooks' coffee shop. Shouldn't it be… Starbu... never mind." The laptop makes a whine and goes into sleep mode.

"Well… Let's get to it." Negi suggests. A hint of apprehension, perhaps even fear, in his voice.

* * *

The group arrives at Starbooks and start looking around for said button. Not on the side of building. Not under any of the tables. Not in the building. Hmm… This is supposed to be where it is. Don't tell me I put it somewhere lame.

Fuka places the Cube gently on the ground. "There you go Companion-kun." She pats it on the top, like a kitten or a puppy.

"Companion-chan!" Fumika argues. "How many boys do you know that would wear a heart like that?"

"Just as many as you. None." Fuka states. "And I say it's a boy." They continue to argue as the others get on with the test.

"It's got to be on top then." Kaede formulates. She spies something attached to the building next to it. "Right there." She points up to a flat bit of cement that looks out of place on the side of the building.

"They won't let us up there." Ayaka says.

Fuka stops fighting and holds up the gun with a big grin on her face. "With this, we won't need to go through the building." She aims the gun up at the spot and shoots the blue portal. It sticks to the spot on the side of the wall of the building next door.

Ayaka doesn't understand what the gun just did. "Is that," she points to the blue oval on the side of the building, "what the Portal Gun you spoke of earlier does?"

Negi looks at her. "That's only the half of it."

Fuka fires the orange portal into the street. Several people nearby comment on the university's wanton testing. Fuka looks into the hole in the ground. "We might be able to make it through." She comes up with an idea. She goes over to the Companion Cube and asks it, "Are you ready to go?"

"…" the Weighted Companion Cube replies ardently.

"Good. Thanks a lot." Fuka flips the toggle and the Cube lifts up off the ground and at a set distance from the front of the gun. The gun's pale orange electrical arcs are suspending the Cube in place. "Here we go." Fuka drops the Cube into the portal.

It immediately flies out the other side and lands as safely as an inanimate metal box can on top of a coffee shop. Ka-thunk! Most of the patrons inside look up at the ceiling in reaction to the noise from up above. The rest ignore it.

* * *

"Do you think we could build something like that?" Satomi asks.

Chao remains silent for a few seconds. "There simply isn't any record of Aperture Science, GLaDOS, or a Portal Gun. Why haven't I heard of them?" She asks herself.

"Hello?"

Chao snaps to. "Huh? Oh, um… We might be able to. But I don't know if we could get the parts together without alerting both the Academy and GLaDOS. And that activating bit has me wondering what else that gun can do." She turns to Hakase. "I think the whole Academy may be in trouble. And I think we may have had a hand in it. She didn't want us to get away with the secrets and tried to kill us. What might she be planning for that group?

Not to mention that there have been numerous people who have seen that gun. Plus we told her about magic. Sure she didn't believe us, but she is still able to manipulate magic. When we loosened that sphere didn't you notice a change in her behavior?"

"Do you think she'll have come to that conclusion?"

"And you were the one expounding all her glory." Chao says in a manner that said she was let down by her classmate. "I bet she had it worked out yesterday, likely while we were still speaking to her."

"So what do we do?"

"For once… I don't know. GLaDOS has us in a bind."

* * *

"How do we get up there?" Asuna asks. "They won't want us up there."

"I say 'sod it all' to it and we all use the portals. She never said we couldn't" Negi says. He seems a bit more resolved. "She's always throwing loopholes at us. I say we take advantage of one too."

"What's with the change of attitude?" Kaede asks.

Negi looks at her. "I've realized that we need to be more determined than ever." He motions for Kaede to come closer and he whispers the next bit. "If we don't succeed, we die."

"Right." Kaede agrees.

"So you can go right through that?" Ayaka asks.

"Yes." Fumika answers. She hops down into the portal like it's a hobby. She pops out the other one and lands on the roof, next to the Companion Cube. She runs to the edge and waves at the rest.

Negi is the next to hop in, followed by Asuna, Fumika, and Kaede. Ayaka stands on the edge and looks in. Negi turns away from the portal and pinches his nose. It seems that Ayaka is wearing a skirt today… at least she was wearing panties.

"Move already!" Asuna shouts.

Ayaka clenches her fists. She falls forward and flies out the orange portal. She shrieks as she starts her journey towards the roof of Starbooks. Not a moment later she's on the roof with the others. "Is that what you did the other day to Clyde and me?"

"Yeah. Pretty fun, huh?" Fuka asks.

"No! I think I may owe Clyde an apology, though." Ayaka says. "I can't blame him now. That messes you up the first time." She dusts herself off.

"Now to press the button." Fuka is about ready to step on the switch when she sees a sign on the side of the button that showed that a box goes on the button. She went over to the Weighted Companion Cube and flipped the toggle on again. The Companion Cube picks up and Fuka places it on the button.

A screen nearby activates and a message from GLaDOS plays. "I would like to take the opportunity to remind you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak. Your next goal is the library and you need to make it there in one minute. Good luck!

A plan forms in the head of Fuka. "Come on, Fumika!" She grabs The Weighted Companion Cube and runs to the edge of the building.

"What are you doing?" Fumika asks.

**--Testchamber 06 End--**

**From the Desk of Dark Dragon Dave:** Listen. I'm getting tired of something. That is always ending these chapters on a cliffhanger style ending. I mean, look at this chapter. I'm trying to keep these things within a shorter word limit. So, dear reader, I pose to you a question. Should I do longer chapters? Leave me a review and along with that please tell me if I should expand these chapters. The test on hand in the current format will, with any luck, be an entire chapter in length.

Also for reviewers, I'm planning a couple of special projects.


	9. Testchamber 07

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Negima. I do not own Portal. I am not making money off this. Though if I printed it up and then rolled it, I might be able to sell it as fodder for a fire place. That would technically be making money off of it but for completely the wrong reason.

**Authors Notes:** Boy, it's been forever, hasn't it? I was busy working on a nice "little" horror fic set in the Negiverse called "The Thing in the Box". It's rated T for Teen so why not go check it out if you happen to like horror. I also have another, longer, fic called "Femella Intra Machina" that you might want to check out if you enjoy mecha and Negima. (Peanut butter and chocolate, tasty.) I was also busy _**not**_ completing games and doing sketches for people.

**Twins Testing Trouble**

**By Dark Dragon Dave**

**Testchamber 07: Start**

Fuka sits the Weighted Companion Cube down temporarily. She quickly levels the gun at a spot on the horizon and fires the gun. The blue math sphere tears through the air, trails of blue flying off the orb. It takes what seems like an eternity for the sphere to make it to its target. During that time, Fuka fires the orange portal down at the ground. She flips the toggle switch to grab the cube and turns to Fumika. "Come on! Let's get moving!"

Fumika and her older sister jump down off the building. They go flying down into the orange portal and shoot up through blue one. Fuka releases the Companion Cube, twists around, and fires the orange portal at a flat spot on building that happens to be facing the library. Twisting back around she grabs the Cube before it has a chance to fly away.

"What are you doing?!" Fumika shouts.

Fuka replies, "Saving our lives and getting us some cake!" With those words the twins and their box plummet back to the ground. This time the orange portal coughs them out, hurling them in the direction of the library.

Fuka angles the gun to the ground and splatters the blue portal exactly where they are going to land. The orange portal spits them out again, however this time their momentum is far greater than before. Fuka readjusts the blue portal to where they are going to land. Once again they come rocketing out of the orange portal. Their momentum is quite great at this point. Fuka has a few moments to pick her targets. She places the orange one on the ground right next to the old blue one. The new blue one gets placed on a flat building wall. The trio of two girls and their ever so friendly Weighted Companion Cube go hurtling in to the orange portal and out the blue one, heading to a quick demise. The elder twin once again places the orange on the ground at the point where they will land.

Something dawns on Fumika. "I know this route… It's the quickest route to the library. We walk it all the time."

"Exactly," Fuka states and they go out the orange portal and farther down the road they are flying over. Once more Fuka places the blue portal right where they are going to land. And again the trio flies out the orange portal, past buildings they already have gone by. What was that quote? Hell is repetition.

The blue portal gets repositioned again, just a bit farther down the line. People stand around watch these two pink haired girls flying across the street again. Oh they saw it the first time, the one where they fell into the street. They didn't expect them to give an encore. As they fly to their seemingly inevitable street splattering, Fuka places the orange portal on another building and moves the blue portal to their impact point.

Once again they all come flying out of the orange portal and down some street. This one is a bit busy as cars and trucks are traveling down it. Fuka places the orange portal on the ground and finds a nice place to stick the blue one, on a building facing the library. As they approach the street; a cargo van heads to the portal, coming from the other direction. Hopefully their luck will hold.

They go careening into the portal and the Weighted Companion Cube scrapes the underbelly, nicking off the third member of the front axle as the driver slammed on his breaks.

He shakes his fist out the window. "Damn kids!"

Fuka, Fumika, and the Weighted Companion Cube throttle out of blue portal and it is at this point that Fumika asks a pretty relevant question.

"How are we going to slow down?!" The air rushing by almost swallows her words whole.

Fuka hasn't actually thought that far ahead. "I don't know. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, I guess." The massive library isn't all that far away now. Fuka thinks of an opportunity while they are flying down the road for the second time. "I know! We'll use the water!"

"She said we need to get to the Library. Does the water count as part of the library?" Fumika asks. Fuka readjusts the portals again. "Also, isn't hitting the water at high speeds like hitting cement?"

Fuka admits she hasn't heard of that one. Either way, the zero time is drawing near. "We gotta do something!" Once again they go flying down the street. This time she places the blue one where they are going to land and the orange one on a nearby large chunk of flat surfaced cement. They are repaving part of the road and said large chunk is just big enough to sustain a portal and it is aiming out into the water. Just now a thought crosses Fuka's mind.

They go flying into the blue portal, then up and over to the water. Fuka twists her body to place the box to her side. The twins and the Cube hit the water with an incredible impact. It stings their skin and knocks their hair-dos loose. Fortunately with the Local Gravity and Mass Negation Field, Fuka doesn't need to worry about keeping the Weighted Companion Cube afloat. The two head to the surface and eventually work their way to dry land. Soping wet, they stand up.

"Now what do we do?" Fumika asks.

"We'll have to wait until the others arrive," answers Fuka.

Just a little over ten minutes pass and Negi, Asuna, and Kaede arrive at the library. Ayaka had left to go talk to a certain boy and was not with them. Negi opens the laptop again and this time the Aperture Science logo is spinning. GLaDOS's voice comes over the speakers, this time, rather than saying hello or something to that effect, she is laughing.

"I just realized something…" she says in a low seductive voice, "heh hahahaha… This test is flawed." Her voice warps as she says 'flawed.'

"Um… GLaDOS?"

The screen turns into a picture of a cake with a hammer stuck in it with the phrase _Pardon Our Dust_ written over it. "Yes?" She seems to not give two craps about the test results.

"Are you okay?"

GLaDOS shouts, "I am fine!" The screen blanks out for a sec and then goes back to the Aperture Science logo. "You will need to hold on to the Weighted Companion Cube for a bit longer. I have forgotten to set up the end of the test."

Fumika asks the important question, "Do we still go up a cake level?"

GLaDOS seems to mull over this point for a few moments. "Sure, why not. You did make it in under a minute and it is my fault I did not finish the test chamber. If this were a Computer Aided Enrichment Center test, things would be different. Alas…" She chuckles again. "You have earned your way to Lemon Cake."

Fuka and Fumika look at each other and give GLaDOS a shrug.

"I will contact you tomorrow about the Weighted Companion Cube. Until then… more free time." GLaDOS shuts the laptop off.

**Testchamber 07: End (That was kind of short wasn't it? Crap, here comes the filler.)**

Ayaka goes into her room and sits down on the sofa. She still can't get over what she had just experienced. Going through space like that… What was going on here anyway? She does admit that Clyde deserves a bit of an apology. Then she is going to find out what is going on. First it was that woman, then the box, and the gun, and the holes in space. Sometimes, everything here gets a bit taxing.

The door to the room opens and Clyde comes in carrying several bags of groceries. He fuddles with the door with his foot for a few seconds before Ayaka helps him with it.

Still a little wary of her wrath, Clyde gives a hesitant smile, and a "thanks," before sidling up against the wall. He quickly moves around the corner into the kitchen area. She is being unusually friendly considering what he had done earlier. In fact he has been looking into seeing if maybe he could change rooms or something until the eventual lawsuit comes in. He is about to start putting things away when Ayaka comes into the kitchen too. Okay, this is getting bad.

"Listen, Clyde-san…" Ayaka says, "I just wanted to apologize for hitting you as hard as I did the other day."

Clyde can't believe his ears. "What? Really?"

Ayaka nods. "Yes. I got to go through one of those portals the Narutakis can make and it does mess with your mind the first time through. So, I am sorry for hitting you like I did."

"No. You had every right to do that. I didn't need to go and do what I did."

"Well, you really didn't know the circumstances so I can't blame you, but did it ever come as shock. I understand what it is like."

"Well, thank you. I accept your apology, even though I feel it is unnecessary," Clyde says.

Ayaka walks closer to him. "Need some help putting those away?"

"Yes. Thanks for the help."

* * *

"I need to do something," GLaDOS observes, "I've gotten all the data I need from them, but there are too many loose ends. I need someone… something to help me. I also need to make it look like a test…" Many processors presented options, akin to have 5034 different ideas all at once. Within a fraction of a second there were less than ten. One stood out amongst all of them.

"Of course. She has access and it would be easy enough." GLaDOS chuckles maniacally. "This is it! The final testchamber for you, childen…"

* * *

Negi and the others sit at the Chao Bao Zi. While popular, the group has arrived at a low spot in the day and there aren't that many people around. Satsuki can hear their conversation about this "Glendys" and something about cake and explosions if she heard right. She finishes their food and delivers it to them with the help Chachamaru.

"_I know it's none of my business… but if you wanted a cake that bad, you could have asked me._" The chef sits the remainder of the orders down when Chachamaru suddenly stops, mid plate placement.

"Chachamaru?" Negi asks.

Chachamaru replies only by whispering. Muttering something that couldn't quite be made out.

"Do you suppose it could be a bug in her system?" Asuna asks everyone in general.

Negi goes over to her and leans in to her whispers. He can barely make it out. "One, zero, zero, one, one, one… Binary?" Negi has a scrunched look to his face.

"You understand that?" Kaede asks.

Negi shook his head. "No, but it's the only thing I can think of that would make sense."

"Any clue as to what's going on?" Asuna asks the boy teacher.

"Not a one. We should call Satomi," he suggests.

Chachamaru ends up dumping a plate of dumplings on Negi's head as she stands back up. Without a moment's hesitation the gynoid starts walking off. Negi frantically wipes the foodstuffs off his head. "Hothothothothot!!" Negi shouts as he runs to a nearby fountain and plunges his head into the cold soothing water.

"Hey! What gives? Evangeline put you up to this didn't she?" Asuna confronts the still muttering Chachamaru.

In response, Chachamaru grabs Asuna and ends up pitching the red-headed girl into a nearby tree. Kaede moves quickly and blocks the rouge construct's path. Chachamaru stops short of Kaede. Chachamaru looks up into the sky. "Yes. As you command." Her voice more emotionless than ever before. An orange portal opens up underneath her and the ground swallows her whole. Kaede gasps but it too late to do anything. The others join her where the android once stood.

"What was that?" Fuka asks.

"I'll give you two guesses," Kaede says.

Negi walks up to the rest of the group, head soaked and asks, "what did I miss?"

"Chachamaru has gone rogue," Kaede explains.

"And tossed me in a tree!" Asuna shouts to her friends below. "Would you mind—" The branch she was bound up in decides to let her down like she wants and with a loud snap like she doesn't want. Not a moment later the ground stops her fall. "Oof!"

"Asuna! Are you okay?!" Negi asks in shock.

"Yeah, I just fell out of a tree is all…" Asuna comments as she lay on the ground.

"That's good," Negi comments. Asuna looks peeved for a brief moment but decides to let it slide. "So where did she go?"

Kaede answers, "GLaDOS took her."

"She's overstepping her boundaries. Abducting my students." Negi groans a bit in frustration.

"What can we do Negi-kun?" Fumika asks. "We don't know where GLaDOS is and if we move to strike back she can activate the guns' detonation ability."

"I have an idea," Negi states confidently.

* * *

**From the Desk of Dark Dragon:** Three months, eh? Seems like longer than that. Anyway I am planning on wrapping this fic up in two more chapters. Not so much that I have lost interest, but I feel Portal's time has waned. So you've got two more chances to catch up with this fic before it heads for page two and stays there.

And hey, look at that. No weird cliffhanger.


End file.
